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The Rhapsody MP3 Store Party!

July 1, 2008
Evil Beet
Uncategorized
68 Comments

First off: for those of you who are all like “How come you never post photos of yourself on this site???”, here you go. A photo of me. On this site. Are we all happy now? Hooray.

Now let’s talk about the party tonight to celebrate the launch of the Rhapsody MP3 store, where you can download tracks at iTunes prices, but in MP3 format, so they’ll play anywhere you want them to play. It’s actually a really cool product. I was explaining it to my sister, like, “You know how when you buy a song from iTunes you can only play it on your computer or on your iPod?” and she was like, “Ugh, yeah, I hate that,” and I was like, “This is like iTunes but you can play it anywhere.” They’ve got over 5 million tracks available now, and the first 100,000 people who sign up get a free album. So yeah. It’s kind of a little revolutionary. Now I plugged the product (which is, in all honesty, very, very cool — I am a longtime Rhapsody user, and am very psyched for this) and now we can get back to talking about important things like me.

So somewhere around 4 pm my sister and I decide to order room service, because we’re hungry and I’m just going to be charging everything to RealNetworks anyway. A few minutes after we place the order, I get a call from Ryan, one of the (super-hot) RealNetworks PR guys. “You should get downstairs to the venue,” he says. “Ben Gibbard’s gonna be here in a minute to do his sound check.” Ben — the lead singer of Death Cab for Cutie — is our entertainment for this evening’s party. He’s going to do a solo acoustic set, and I really want to get downstairs to check him out, but I also really want to eat the food I just ordered. So my sister and I wait for the food to show up, eat it quickly, and then run downstairs, but we’ve just missed Ben.

We are only marginally disappointed about this until Ryan’s like, “Oh, and Jim from The Office was here with him. They’re buddies.” I’m like “John Krasinski????” and Ryan’s like “Who? No. Jim from The Office. The one who dates Pam,” and I was like “THAT’S JOHN KRASINSKI YOU DUMBASS!” Um, only one of the hottest men on television right now. Duh. “Is he coming tonight???” I ask Ryan. “I think so,” he says. I immediately text everyone I know to inform them that I might see John Krasinski tonight.

I then inform Ryan that I am about to go upstairs to my room and dye my hair brown. “Don’t do it,” he says. “No no no.” Ryan thinks it will look terrible. I assure him that it will look amazing. He looks at his watch. “It’s 5 pm,” he says. “You realize that this event starts at 7. Are you telling me you are going to dye your hair and get dressed and ready in two hours? No way.” I consider this a challenge.

My sister and I run upstairs, dye my hair, determine that it now looks awesome (and my sister would certainly tell me if it did not), get dressed and ready and get downstairs by 7 on the dot. Oh, and I also have to tell you guys that my sister put swimsuit pads in her bra to push her tits together in her dress. And I really wouldn’t have told you this except for that, when she did it, I jokingly said “I’m going to blog about this,” and she got so upset about this possibility that I decided I was, in fact, going to blog about it. So there. Seriously, though, I was kind of annoyed I had to walk into this party next to my sister, because she looked so strikingly gorgeous (as always) that I looked gross by comparison. Here’s a photo of my beautiful kid sister (whose bra is padded):

As with most NYC events, I expected most people to start trickling in an hour or so after the event actually starts, but, when we get downstairs at 7 (on the dot!) there is already a line around the corner. This Ben Gibbard guy has some serious fans in New York. I skip the line (because I’m badass) and head inside with my sister and find the place already packed. Craziness.

A bunch of my other NYC girlfriends show up to chill with me, and we all head up to the VIP lounge, because that is how we roll. My friend Tiffany asks me who the performer is tonight. “Ben Gibbard,” I tell her. “He’s the lead singer for Death Cab for Cutie.” Tiffany makes a face. “Oh,” she says. “How very indie. I feel like I should be wearing, like, pants I made myself.” I have no idea what happened during the ten minutes following the issuance of that statement, because I was laughing so hard I couldn’t see. My friends and I are such spoiled brats. I embrace that.

The open bar is serving Rhapsody-tinis and MP3-nis. OMG.

Ben Gibbard starts his set at around 7:30, and the place goes silent. All eyes and ears are on Ben. His voice is fantastic, he’s an accomplished guitarist, and his lyrics are — as many a drunken chick mentions — “waaaaay deep.” He’s got that whole nerd-chic look working for him, thick-rimmed glasses, plaid shirt, the whole deal. Most of my girlfriends had never heard of him before his set began, but afterwards they all had newfound crushes. Even Tiffany was like, “Wow. That was actually really good.”

Ben stops about halfway through his set. “You know,” he says, “this party is not at all what I expected. And I mean that in a good way.” I think he had expected a bunch of drunken assholes screaming at each other over his set, but the place is dead silent, hanging on every note. In fact, I am actually shushed while arguing with his manager over my right to take flash photos of him from the front row. I did get one, though:

Ryan comes up to me and points out John Krasinski — he’s sitting in a booth with a few other guys, hiding beneath a dark baseball cap, and he’s actually mouthing the words to some of Ben’s songs. I find this adorable. You guys, he is soooo much hotter in person, even from far away and in the dark. I was lovestruck. I think he’s hot on the show, but, in person, OMG. Fucking gorgeous.

I didn’t want to interrupt him during his buddy’s set, so, after Ben finished (to a standing ovation), I made a beeline to his booth, thinking they’d be running out the second the set was over, as many performers do. John was incredibly polite, and agreed to take photos with me and all my friends. Tiffany — who is a huge fan — spent the rest of the evening telling me that John looks happier in his photo with her than he does in his photo with me. I have to admit that this is true, and it saddens me.

Much to my surprise, Ben and John don’t leave after the set. Instead, they head up to the VIP area with their crew and party with us for the rest of the evening. My sister, who pretty much never drinks, has now had three MP3-nis, and is trashed. She will kill me for saying that, but it’s true. I know when my kid sister is drunk, and my kid sister was drunk. This does, however, motivate her to walk over to John and Ben’s booth and start chatting them up. Half an hour later, I go to check on her, and she is wedged between John Krasinski and John’s best friend in a booth, showing them photos of her friend’s dog on her cell phone. They are both delighted with her. My sister has that effect on men.

The party closes down around 10, and about 15 people head up to my hotel room to raid the mini-bar and play with my puppy. We’re in my room for probably twenty minutes, and my hotel room is now trashed. There’s a broken glass in the sink. Beer is spilled all over the carpet. Cigarette ash is everywhere. Plus we got hair dye all over the bathroom earlier in the day, and spray tan all over the linens. When did I become the sort of person who trashes a hotel room? So rock star.

Then we herd ourselves down to the hotel’s sushi restaurant, where we are joined by my old LA pal Dave Aizer, who now lives in NYC. You might remember Dave as the former host of Nickelodeon’s Slime Time Live. I thought I had given him all the shit possible about this, but when my girlfriends meet him, they quickly begin making jokes comparing his sex life to the premise of his former television show. I can’t believe I never thought to ask him “Did anybody get slimed tonight?” after he’d been out on a date. I’m truly ashamed of myself. I think I should have my blogger’s license temporarily revoked for this gross oversight. Anyway, Dave realized that if you tie the napkins at the sushi restaurant around your head you look like that guy from The Karate Kid:

Around 1 am, we got around to discussing whether or not Adam Duritz’s recent weight gain could be attributed to the fact that he ate the other members of Counting Crows (Dave: “Now I only count one!”) and decided that was our cue to call it a night. Well, everyone else called it a night. I came up to my room and worked for the next three hours. Because that is how I roll.

Anyway, the party was phenomenal and went off without a hitch. Mad props to Lacey, Tiffany, Ryan, Bill and everyone else involved in pulling off such a killer event (and thanks for flying me to New York to write about it … even though I just ended up writing about my drunken escapades with my friends … but you knew what you were getting into).

Make sure to be one of the first 100,000 people to sign up for Rhapsody’s new MP3 store and get an entire album free.

More pictures of party insanity are after the jump.

68 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I was at a film shoot for Farlanders, the movie that John Krasinski is working on a few weeks ago… in Arizona (shout out!) He was introducing himself to the parents of the child actors and went out of his way to tell them how great they were doing, etc. He was very genuine and I was very impressed.
    Unfortunately, my part got cut… :/ but the whole experience was very cool.
    Love your site, Beet! I’m officially done with Perez.

  • very sweet, but yawn….. anybody can have that kinda night, all you need is some invite to a boring product launch which b grade celebs have agreed to attend. go to some real parties and give us some real gossip. apart from that gripe, i really do love your writing, which i check every day, even when i’m in some third world country and it costs a hundred dollars a minute *because i’m addicted*, but just not when its about your mates and your dog. xx

  • You bitch!!!!! I can’t believe you met Jim. He’s such perfect boyfriend material. Lucky.

    Happy Canada Day!!!!!

  • That dress just makes Beet look fat. Just teasing…playing the typical “comment on a celebrity’s dress”.

    Beet you have some nice sweater puppies for a Scientologist.

  • Sounds like you had a lot of fun! Ben doesn’t it know it yet, but he’s totally written both my wedding and funeral songs. I can’t believe I’ve planned that far ahead. Yuck. And John’s eyebrows look just as nice in your photos as they do on TV!

  • your (and you) sister is hot! give her my number, i live in nyc and i’m a nice jewish boy. your mom would be happy.

  • “anybody can have that kind of night” , um a bitch much?
    I , for one, am insanely jealous! Ben Gibbard is so talented, and as much as I would love to meet John Krasinski, I´d make a total fool of myself so maybe I´m a little glad that I haven´t.

  • You’re so cute! And your hair does, in fact, look amazing.

    And… JOHN KRASINSKI. I am in awe.

  • awww.. look at you Beet! And he may look happier in the pic w/ your friend, but I can’t help but notice he was getting closer to you! I think that says it all.

  • All right Beet,
    Now that you have put up you’re picture, I definitely want to know where to send my resume for “Beet’s Boyfriend”!!!

  • Beet,
    Can I make a hair suggestion? BTW: love the brown!!!
    You should try a bob…no bangs, like Katie H., – a bangless bob. LOL
    Seriously…I think you would rock that look… I’m just saying.

  • oh and yeah, I think it was mean that Tiffany told you that John K. looked happier with her. That’s just mean. You need to find nicer friends.

  • Btw, bottom 2 pictures, far right – David Cross, famous comedian & writer

  • betty crocker – i totally saw david cross too and was thinking genius, why did beet not notice him? but then, maybe we are old? i dunno but mr. show was like the funniest sketch show ever.

  • Ok, your sister is clearly very pretty, and you posted a really bad picture of her mugging at the camera looking ugly. We see right through you, Beet!

  • Joan, I am willing to cop to being old, at least in comparison with what I guess is the average age here, and that’s why I spotted him. Super funny guy.

    I’d venture that soon his imdb page will be smoking from everyone looking to see who the hell we are talking about. ;-)

  • Beet, now that I’ve seen your smile, you must rent/borrow old Tom Cruise movie, “The Firm”, and forward through to the end of the movie. There’s a totally overlooked/underrated sexy flirting scene between the brother of Tom’s character, and Holly Hunter, where they are saying goodbye between a boat and the dock.

    It’s been years since I’ve seen this, so I’m paraphrasing:

    Guy – “I love that crooked little mouth of yours.”

    Holly-(Smiling coyly) “That’s not even my best feature.”

    Guy – (pause) “Wow”.

    Doesn’t look like much written out, but since you have that crooked little smile thing going on (and I mean that as a compliment), you should check it out.

  • Beet, I just wrote you an email about brown hair… and yet, I hadn’t seen these pictures. You look fabulous. I love the color you chose. And your tan I think really enhances your color.

  • You’re purdy, Beet! And you’re rocking that brown hair, which I noticed has some red (beet-ish) highlights!!! Now I can picture you while I’m reading your shtuff…

  • Nice picture…your breasts are much lovlier than I ever imagined. The brown hair looks great. Party it up in NYC!!!

  • Dig the hair color! It makes your face and eyes brighter. I like the bob-cut idea just PLEASE whatever you do DO NOT do the reverse mullet… short in back and long in front. My co-worker is sporting that and it’s awful. She swears its sassy but really it looks like a helmet.

  • > your breasts are much lovlier than I ever imagined.

    That wasn’t creepy at all Rob. How did you type with one hand anyways? Must have taken forever.

  • They obviously don’t sell mirrors either…

    Good thing they do have plastic surgeons!!! She should check one out.

  • “How did you type with one hand anyways? Must have taken forever.”

    It was real hard…it took longer than expected, but in the end it came out just fine.

  • You should wear bangs. God God cover up that 5 head. You could still get it though…and your sister too.

  • Wow. I thought we came here for snarkiness aimed at celebrities, not the author…Love the hair and the dress, Beet!

  • This makes me so happy. I LOOOOVE John and Ben and you definitely don’t talk about them enough.

  • Aw no way! I wish I had been there with you guys! I loooove Death Cab for Cutie, they’re my fav band. John Krasinski is my biggest celebrity crush too. That would have been the greatest night in my life, lol. Thanks for posting pictures and for going into detail! I had fun reading your blog :)

  • By the way…Donkey Punch should forever shut his mouth on being the creepy police…this is the definition of “donkey punch”:you will be doing your girl doggy style and as you are about to climax you will punch her in the back of the head in order to make your vaginal wall muscles tighten to better your orgasm”. You are a sick fuck who has chosen a name to show your affinity for hitting women to increase your sexual pleasure. Someone better get this catch before he gets scooped up…or goes to prison.

  • Beet-
    It was so great to meet you. This writeup cracks me up as I was in the booth next to you the whole night and now can picture a lot of what you’re talking about. Thanks for coming and wrecking house on our dime! I’ll be posting more pics from the event on the RN blog later on today.

    Lacy

  • your writing style reminds me totally of me. that’s why i like you. oh and the fact that you met john krasinski? fucking jealous am i.

  • you look nervous. like someone that has said really shitty stuff about people that you don’t even know. like someone that might realize when alone and in the quiet of the night that maybe you should reconsider all of the negative stuff you say about people and get a fucking life of your own. whatever you make doing this won’t be worth the bad karma you heap on yourself by embracing negativity..celebrity or otherwise, they are fellow human beings, and you exploit them in their times of weakness. how old are you? don’t look forward to a very positive future if you don’t get your shit together and begin to spew kindness instead of searching for the almighty dollar while you spew meanness. i feel for you. your photo says it all. and you can’t hide behind your dog. you’re just sad. and this isn’t a religious rant baby, this is just pure advice from one human to another.

  • For fuck sakes.. I need to start reading the site where i stopped the night before, because i just asked you (like in the first page…) how the party was and now i see that the whole story was right here..

    Anyways, you are gorgeous! so is your sister (lmaoooo @ the padded bra comment) i’m glad you had a great time, you deserve it. And now with your foot like that, im just so glad at least you went to at least 1 party before that happened lol.. We love you Beet! get better soon!!

  • Rob there are several meanings to the name “Donkey Punch”. All of them indicate that you are humorless creepy fuck, lol.

    Keep dreaming about Beet’s boobs…some day you may get a real life woman instead of that rubber doll in your closet. Maybe.

  • Superb posting, I share the same views. I wonder why this particular world truly does not picture for a moment like me and also the blog site creator :D

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