A guy I used to date is friends with Liv Tyler, and he gave me no end of shit for saying "mean things about her legs" at the premiere of Incredible Hulk last week. "She's really nice!" he insisted repeatedly, as if that somehow negates the possibility that she could have poor fashion sense every once in awhile. I'll note two things here: 1) I did not know he knew her prior to writing that post, so I wasn't being "mean" to her out of jealousy or anything, and 2) I did not say mean things about...

"Did you know the human head weighs eight pounds? Also there's a gun on my shirt." Seriously this kid just needs to give it up and go to college. He will never outgrow the typecasting that was thrust upon him when he was six years old. He's eighteen now. Yeah, you read that right. Little Ray Boyd is college-aged. You're that old. Here he is at the party for the U.S. launch of Russian brand Kira Plastinina. The event planners for this shin-dig put together one of the oddest assortment...

Okay okay. You guys made it clear in the comments that you wanted to see the cats, even though they're fat. There's nothing else much going on right now, so I'm going to introduce you to my other babies. You have to promise not to make fun of them for their weight, because they're very self-conscious about it right now. Up first: Josephine. Josie was my very first cat. I got her when I was 20. My longtime boyfriend was moving out of state for school, and I was devastated, and I decided I would get a cat for company. I adopted Josie from a rescue when she was just a baby, and I've had her ever since. Wow, that's over six years now. Josie is an absolute sweetheart. She's very quiet, not very demanding, and just loves to be held. For years she's slept right on top of my chest all night every night. Josie is to me what Holly is to Hef. Okay okay. You guys made it clear in the comments that you wanted to see the cats, even though they're fat. There's nothing else much going on right now, so I'm going to introduce you to my other babies. You have to promise not to make fun of them for their weight, because they're very self-conscious about it right now. Up first: Josephine. Josie was my very first cat. I got her when I was 20. My longtime boyfriend was moving out of state for school, and I was devastated, and I decided I would...

I am home. And not a moment too soon. My cats are HUGE. And not just in comparison to my tiny dog. I have no idea what my father has been feeding them in my absence. Whole sheep, I assume. They are enormous. They have all doubled in size. Ashley, the littlest one, has always been very, very small, even as an adult. She still has the teeny tiny head, but now it sits atop an enormous monstrosity of a body. It looks ridiculous and hilarious, honestly, and I'd find it way more funny if I weren't so concerned about her health right now. This is terribly ironic, as my father is a physician who specializes in nutrition and weight loss. He's had a great deal of success over a 30-year career of working with humans. But he needs more practice with cats. The cats don't even seem to be upset about the dog. This is because acting upset would require movement, and they are too fat to move. They just kind of stare at him and sigh loudly. Max managed a little swat at Leo before collapsing. This is so sad. I am not going to post their photos yet. I am embarrassed for them. They are coming home to Seattle, being put on a serious diet and exercise program, and then they will make their Evil Beet debut when they are cute again. />I am home. And not a moment too soon. My cats are HUGE. And not just in comparison to my tiny dog. I have no idea what my father has been feeding them in my absence. Whole sheep, I assume. They are enormous. They have all doubled in size. Ashley, the littlest one, has always been very, very small, even as an adult. She still has the teeny tiny head, but now it sits atop an enormous monstrosity of a body. It looks ridiculous and hilarious, honestly, and I'd find it way more funny if I weren't...