Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Mary J. Blige to the Rescue!

Aw, this is a really cute story. Last week, Blige was at the Diane von Furstenberg store in the Meatpacking District when she overheard a girl having a problem at the register. A spy said, "The girl had a dress on hold that she loved, and the bill was $900. She thought it was only $500, and she couldn't afford it." Blige told the saleswoman, "Go get the girl. I want to pay for the balance on the dress." The customer at first declined Blige's offer but relented after the singer said, "I know ...

Paris Denied a Puppy

God, Paris Hilton sucks so much. On her way to a photo shoot this weekend, Paris decided she wanted to have a puppy in the shoot with her, so that it would look "cuter." She waltzed into The Puppy Store on Melrose and tried to buy a Yorkie. An employee there refused her, saying it was "clearly an impulse buy." Paris went ballistic. "She started screaming, 'I love my puppies! I want my baby!'" says a spy. If you wanted a puppy in the shoot with you, Paris, you should have taken one ...

No Photographs Please!

Ashley Olsen and her boyfriend Justin Bartha both attended a screening of Trumbo in NYC last night, but they were careful to leave separately and not pose together on the red carpet. Stupid stars protecting their stupid personal lives. I want photos!!! Ashley's still looking awesome, though, and the timing of her new look coincides with the beginning of her relationship with Justin. Whatever he's doing for her, it's a good thing!...

When I Grow Up, I Want to Be Kelly Ripa

Kelly Ripa has it all. The hot husband who's stuck by her forever, adorable kiddos, a lucrative job she loves, a great sense of humor, perfect arms and fabulous clothes. I so want to be Kelly Ripa. I've idolized her forever. Her life just always seems so perfect to me. Sometimes I pretend that she's secretly my big sister and she will mentor me so that my life can be just like hers. At the Jorge Posada Foundation Heroes of Hope Gala in NYC....

I Just Don’t Like Anne Hathaway

I don't even know why. I can't think of a single thing she's done to bother me. At least with someone like Mandy Moore I can be like "You know what? She's really self-congratulatory and holier-than-thou and fucking annoying in interviews." I can't even say that about Anne. I think it's a combination of two things: her fucking enormous mouth and her refusal to tan. I mean, she lives in Los Angeles. I'm not saying everybody needs to fake-bake all the time, but it's like she's actively avoidin...

Dakota Would’ve Done It!

Abigail Breslin recently told the LA Times that she -- gasp! -- didn't cut her hair to play a short-haired girl in Kit Kittredge: An American Girl. Rather, she donned a short-haired wig. "I really don't know if I could handle having my own hair really short, but wearing the wig was fun. It didn't really feel that different but felt like I was wearing a hat. But I'd never do that to my real hair, because I like putting it in a ponytail. I really don't like short hair." The nerve! Silly Abiga...

Quotables

"She is just going through a high school phase. You know dating the quarterback of the football team with Brad Pitt over there. She'll be waking up from that dream in no time. Who knows if I'll be there when she's ready to come to her senses though." Billy Bob Thornton, at the launch of his new album with The Boxmasters. I really can't tell if Billy Bob was joking around or being serious. If he was being serious, then, damn, he's the one who needs to wake up from the dream. Jennifer Anist...

I NEED A BURGER KING GOLD CARD!!!

I didn't even know they existed! But Hugh Laurie has one! While talking about life in the fame lane, hottie Laurie has this to say: “[Being famous means that] you can get a table in a restaurant. But then you've got to go past a line of people who can't get a table - and that's a bad feeling. I've [been given] a Burger King Gold Card.” A Burger King Gold Card entitles one to free Burger King, ostensibly for life. Click here to read a funny store Jay Leno wrote about his. I'll po...

Lindsay Lohan Has Been Working for an Entire Week Without Totally Screwing Up

CONGRATULATIONS, Lindsay! Your uncanny ability to make your call times and, you know, do your job with some level of competence have warranted you an entire article on People.com. This is how slow the celebrity world has been lately. This is why I have to talk about my cats and my dog constantly. I wish this election would hurry up and end so that everybody can start focusing on what's really important: documenting the moral demise of former Disney stars. Miley and Selena, I'm looking a...

Fun with YouTube: Ricky Martin, “La Vida Loca”

So this song came on my (beloved) Sirius radio yesterday, and I got really really excited. I forgot how much this song rocks. Remember when this song was, like, the biggest thing ever back in the late '90s? I was a freshman in college when it was released, and I remember someone wrote all the lyrics, in huge chalk letters, across the walls of my dorm. I worked at Blockbuster that summer, and this song (and the corresponding video) was a part of the 60-minute teaser video that runs in the store over and over again. I eventually hated this song with all my heart. I associated it with all that was evil in the world. But I've had some distance from it now, and I was able to fall in love with it again this weekend. Unfortunately, Sony has the music video on lockdown. I spent like half an hour scouring YouTube for a version of it that was embeddable, with no success. So here's a version of it layered over clips of Will & Elizabeth from Pirates of the Caribbean. If you want to watch the actual music video, click here. /> So this song came on my (beloved) Sirius radio yesterday, and I got really really excited. I forgot how much this song rocks. Remember when this song was, like, the biggest thing ever back in the late '90s? I was a freshman in college when it was released, and I remember someone wrote all the lyrics, in huge chalk letters, across the walls of my dorm. I worked at Blockbuster that summer, and this song (and the corresponding video) was a part of the 60-minute teaser video that runs in the store over...