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Your Daily Paris

June 5, 2008
Evil Beet
Uncategorized
27 Comments

Paris and Benji head out for a night on the town, hitting up Eva Longoria’s restaurant, Beso.

I like how that dress makes it look like Paris is sporting a baby bump. You know she did that on purpose. She’s so sad that everyone’s having babies but her. She’s playing pretend.

It’s like how I shop at Costco. I have absolutely no need to shop at Costco. I live alone with a four-pound dog. But Costco is my happy place. I love trotting around with my huge cart. I walk past these, like, families of five, kids crawling everywhere, and as I happily heft an eight-gallon jug of apple juice into my cart, I think to myself, “I bet they think I have three kids, too,” and then I feel special. It’s like the most fiscally irresponsible way ever to live out my fantasy life. I bought a pack of thirty hot dogs on Monday. I went into the office on Tuesday and kept asking people “Do you need hot dogs?” The looks I got were priceless.

27 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Now I can’t get that song from Rocky Horror Picture Show out of my mind.

    “I’m just a Sweet Transvestite from Transexual, Transylvania…”

  • you gotta get yourself a Costco partner. To Split all that crap with. I am married with no kids and I soooo want to by that cheap ass bag of potatoes but it’s like a years worth for the two of us and each potato is like 4 lbs. So I usually get stuff like that and split it with my brother. Costco is the best for alcohol. the beer and liquor is insanly cheap considering. And a friend of mine went to culinary school and the teachers told them that the best meat you will ever find is at Costco.

  • *raises hand* i can’t step in walmart without feeling like i’m in the dollar store in romy and michelle’s highschool reunion- however i do have a sam’s club card and i do the EXACT same thing.

    i like eating samples of cake and musing over huge bags if chips and fruit roll-ups as if i’m going to be packing cool-mom lunches all week(no kids here either).

  • I don’t have a Costco membership but I love their soft-serve ice cream. It’s a ginormous waffle cone and it’s $2!!!!!!!!

    Do you not have your cats anymore :(

  • i love to take the little samples they have the other day they had this slammingg salmon cracker thing..it was pure joy.

  • Aw man, the pic cuts her giant feet off — not the same without them big dawgs a showin’.

  • wow, she got enough makeup on there? i’m a freakin makeup artist and i don’t wear that much. good god.

  • Oh good. Then I propose the cats get equal billing with Leo so for every picture of him, you have to post one for each feline. It’s just fair I think :)

  • Baby bump?! OMG, that would be armageddon. This bites, I’m totally dealing with Poison Ivy and about going out of my mind.

  • > You are your grandfathers granddaughter.

    What does that make me?

    Absolutely nothing.

  • What is up with his double pudge chin??? What, is he like 26 or something??? FUG! But on a surprising note…I WANT PARIS’S DRESS! Well not the actual one she’s wearing, because it is infested with herpes…but yeah. I want one of my own. Thanks.