On Tuesday, Leggings Lohan got coffee. The end. But this photo is especially exciting because, if you look closely, you can see the little clasps where they put in her hair extensions. And this is exciting to me because I am a huge loser with nothing else going on in my life so I have all kinds of time to carefully inspect every inch of a Lindsay Lohan photo. And you guys are the beneficiaries! Yay for you! Sad for me. :( ...

After a stressful day in court, Britney Spears grabbed her trusty pack of Camels and headed to the recording studio. Check out the new French manicure! It's not even bitten off or anything! And a new pair of cowboy boots! They're still ugly as hell, but at least they're not those stinky old ones she was wearing all damn winter. Britney is pulling it together, people. There's gonna be a real comeback outta her, I just know it! ...

Thanks so much to those of you who have taken the survey so far. And thank you to those of you who took the time to leave additional comments, and say very nice things about me that make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I love you guys, too. Some responses to your comments: 1) I have changed the way thumbnails work. When there is more than one thumbnail in a post, you can now go through all of them without returning to the main page, using previous and next pics on a single pic page. Does that make any sense? Well some of you asked for it, so hopefully those people will understand what I'm talking about. 2) I installed a plugin to try to make mobile viewing easier and faster for those of you who access the page on your PDA or cell, as requested. Please let me know if you like this or if you want it back to normal. 3) Some of you love the Leo posts, some of you not so much. I can appreciate both points of view, and I'll try to keep the Leo posts to a minimum, but he's my dog and I love him and I'm gonna post about him every now and then because he is so fucking badass. 4) I am not voting Republican. I don't know where you guys got that idea. 5) To the girl who mentioned that my speaking voice is disappointing because it's not "edgy" enough, um, I'm working on that with my Marlboro Lights every day. It's gonna take a little longer than it takes to install a plugin, though. See? I listen, like a good girl. If you haven't taken the survey, please do so here. />Thanks so much to those of you who have taken the survey so far. And thank you to those of you who took the time to leave additional comments, and say very nice things about me that make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I love you guys, too. Some responses to your comments: 1) I have changed the way thumbnails work. When there is more than one thumbnail in a post, you can now go through all of them without returning to the main page, using previous and next pics on a single pic page. Does...

No, this is not a cover of the (fabulous) Jill Sobule song, but it's equally fantastic. I love Katy's voice, and the song just rocks. Warning: Katy hasn't released a video for this song yet, so the video I've used here is a YouTube masterpiece composed of photos of chicks making out. So, uh, you might want to open Microsoft Word while you're listening if you're doing this at work. If you like this, you should check out her cover of "Use Your Love." It's currently the song on my MySpace profile. After the jump, some fabulous YouTube covers of this song, several of which may be considered borderline child porn. (Welcome to my website, creepy assholes who got here searching for "child porn." Click on some ads while you're here, you sick fucks.) Read More /> No, this is not a cover of the (fabulous) Jill Sobule song, but it's equally fantastic. I love Katy's voice, and the song just rocks. Warning: Katy hasn't released a video for this song yet, so the video I've used here is a YouTube masterpiece composed of photos of chicks making out. So, uh, you might want to open Microsoft Word while you're listening if you're doing this at work. If you like this, you should check out her cover of "Use Your Love." It's currently the song on my MySpace...

Right? I mean, these are either fake lashes or he's wearing some serious mascara. Or perhaps -- gasp! -- eyelash extensions? Oooh, I think I'm going with eyelash extensions. When I first saw the thumbnail of this pic, I was like, "Is he wearing winged eyeliner?" But no. That's just the shadow from his ridiculously long eyelashes. Clay's new album is called "On My Way Here ... I Blew a Dude I Met on Craigslist at a Rest Stop." No I'm kidding. That's ridiculous. Everyone knows ...

I just think this is such a funny name -- like, "Oh, shit, there's a sun? Dude, I had totally forgotten. Wait, so that explains why it's bright for like 16 hours out of the day, doesn't it? Damn. And here I'd been looking for the switch for months. I even checked my fuse box. I'm glad you brought that up. I'll cancel the electrician." It's National Sun Awareness Week in the UK, which is basically a really bad name for a week that's supposed to draw attention to the various types of cancer...

Here are some choice photographs from Juliette Lewis's performance with her band, Juliette Lewis and the Licks, at a Netherlands Liberation Day Festival called Bevrijdingspop. I have never heard a single song by this band and I never want to, but whenever I see that there are new photographs from one of their shows, I always get all excited. She's so unnecessarily weird on stage. Sometimes I wonder if she ever got out of her Other Sister character. Can you believe this girl used to get to...

I went to private school most of my life, but I did spend one semester at an Arizona public school. Now, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with public schools in general, but there was definitely something wrong with this public school. In that it was a festering pit of gang activity and wasted lives. This kid once brought this radio he'd just stolen from a car -- wires hanging out and everything -- to my journalism class, and put it under his desk during class like it was no big deal. Th...

So each and every day, my boss does an exceptional job of not firing me -- and preventing others from firing me -- when I do things I'm not supposed to do, like run sex tapes and photos of penises and vaginas and nipples and other body parts that your kindergarten teacher told you represented one-half of a "bad touch." Now it's time for you to do something nice for him. Please take this (very very brief) survey about who you are, dear Evil Beet reader. Oh, and also: I asked for the password to the survey account under the guise of wanting to add a question asking how you guys heard about Evil Beet, but then I made a bunch of other changes that no one is going to appreciate but me (and possibly you guys, but definitely not my management). Ha ha, I crack myself up. Anyway, please please PLEASE take the survey. It'll win me big brownie points, which I will need after what I did to the survey. />So each and every day, my boss does an exceptional job of not firing me -- and preventing others from firing me -- when I do things I'm not supposed to do, like run sex tapes and photos of penises and vaginas and nipples and other body parts that your kindergarten teacher told you represented one-half of a "bad touch." Now it's time for you to do something nice for him. Please take this (very very brief) survey about who you are, dear Evil Beet reader. Oh, and also: I asked for the passwo...

Ha ha ha. I'm totally kidding. It blows huge monkey cock. It's called "Summertime," but it should have been called "We Never Should Have Attempted a Comeback. This Is Embarrassing. Baby." Click here to listen. ...

Playboy Enterprises posted a quarterly loss on Tuesday, because of weaker publishing and domestic television revenue and forecast more trouble during the year, pushing its shares down 8 percent. Says its CEO, Christine Hefner (Hugh's daughter): "Our publishing and domestic entertainment businesses continue to face unprecedented change in the way consumers access and use media content." Translation: "Porn is free on the Internet now. That sort of fucks up our whole selling-porn-in-a-magazine busin...

While Kevin Federline will retain primary custody of Jayden and Sean, Britney Spears has received more visitation time with the kiddos, although the exact amount of time has not been disclosed. "We are so pleased with Britney's progress and we are very appreciative of the court's recognition of this progress," said Jamie and Lynne Spears, who were in court supporting their daughter. Kevin's mouthpiece, Elliot Mintz, says that Kevin was "extremely pleased with how things went today." Kevin's lawyer gave props to Britney's dad for helping to pull her shit together. Says Mark Vincent Kaplan: "We all know over the last few months what was a seemingly daily situation in extreme flux has been stabilized. We see there are not daily events occurring that made it very difficult to have any kind of grounding or believing that an environment that was best for the children was consistent across both homes." Way to go, Britster! Keep it up! />While Kevin Federline will retain primary custody of Jayden and Sean, Britney Spears has received more visitation time with the kiddos, although the exact amount of time has not been disclosed. "We are so pleased with Britney's progress and we are very appreciative of the court's recognition of this progress," said Jamie and Lynne Spears, who were in court supporting their daughter. Kevin's mouthpiece, Elliot Mintz, says that Kevin was "extremely pleased with how things went today." Ke...