Today's Evil Beet Gossip

What Is This Fabulous Creature?

And where did Jack Hanna get it and when is mine coming? Can you imagine the fun that Leo would have with this little guy? Fuck that, can you imagine the fun that I would have with this little guy? There's room enough in my huge-ass purse for both of them. Leo can have the middle pocket and Little Guy can have the side pocket and they'd both come to work with me and pee on my boss's desk together. OMG I need one stat. At the David Letterman show. ...

Angelina Confirms Twinsies: The Transcript

Much to the chagrin of The Today Show, the folks over at Access Hollywood have already posted the transcript of the convo Angie and Jack Black had with Natalie Morales in Cannes. “You’re gonna have as many as (the) ‘Brady Bunch’ when you have these,” Jack joked. “It’s confirmed? Is it two?”, Natalie asked. “Yeah, yeah, we’ve confirmed that already,” Angelina responded. “Well, Jack’s just confirmed it actually.” “Is that true?”, Jack said jokingly. “Yeah, you did,â...

Caridee English and Tyson Beckford??? WTF???

I mean, we all knew that the ANTM winner's former boyfriend was ugly as fuck, but I don't know that she's exactly in Tyson Beckford's league, either. Page Six is reporting that Caridee dumped her longtime boyfriend from North Dakota, and has taken up with the beautiful Tyson. She says her old boyfriend owes her $10,000: "He went into my bank account, took all that money and went to Las Vegas and spent it," she said. "We're over." Okay, fine, I get that you dumped him; you should have done that a long time ago. Like, your...

Paris Does Moscow

If you're anything like me, you've spent the past few days wondering where the hell Paris Hilton is. I swear, when, like, an entire day passes without a new photo of Paris coming along, I worry about her. Does she have the flu? A little spat with oral herpes? Rehab? Is she out looking for additional Madden brothers for Lindsay and Britney and Nicky and Miley Cyrus? Is she perhaps building a manufacturing facility for Madden brothers? Quietly buying up the empty lot a block down Robertson fr...

Prepare Your Barf Bags

You know, if my romantic life weren't less of a roller coaster and more of a free-fall, I'd probably think these photos were adorable, and, I mean, I do think they're adorable, but I'm also jealous and bitter. Nick and Mariah rented out the entirety of Six Flags on Tuesday night to celebrate their recent nuptials, and these are the absurdly adorable (and totally candid!) photos that came out of it. What do you guys think: is this for real? Or is it a publicity stunt? [gallery]...

Anne Heche Is a Trainwreck: Exhibit 8,942

Anne Heche says she can no longer pay $15,000 in monthly child support to ex-husband Coley Laffoon, ever since her TV show, Men in Trees, got canned. "I am continuing to look for work, but I have no offers pending and the impending strike by the Screen Actors Guild reduces my prospects for work even further," Heche, 38, writes in court papers. "Since January 18, 2008, I have been unemployed and had no income from employment except for one very short-term contract for a movie role for which I...

Whitney Wins America’s Next Top Model

Congratulations to Whitney, the first "full-figured" winner of ANTM. Um, I haven't really been following this season, but this girl is a plus-sized model like Lindsay Lohan's the president of Alcoholics Anonymous: not at all. This girl isn't big; she has a normal, healthy, attractive body. It's ridiculous to consider her fat in any way. ...

Today Is Not a Fun Day to Be Jessica Simpson

Poor Jessica! News broke this morning that she and Tony Romo had split. Ouch. And after that, Glamour released their interview with her, where she's cooing over how very wonderful Tony is. Embarrassing! And now Us Weekly's talking about how goddamn drunk Jessica got the day that former flame John Mayer went public with his new relationship with Jennifer Aniston. The 27-year-old singer was so out of it after a four-hour session of drinking at L.A.'s Mexicali Cocina Cantina on May ...
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