Little-known fact about me: I’m a spelling bee champ.
Yes, it’s true.
Back in 8th grade, I won my school’s spelling bee. Then I won the regional spelling bee. And then I went to the state spelling bee, where I took home second place.
Here’s the thing: I should have won.
The stupid kid who won misspelled the word “reticent” in the final round. He used an “s” rather than a “c.” I knew he misspelled it, but I didn’t speak up at the time, because I was 13 and terrified. The judges were retarded. I would have spelled it correctly next, and I would have won. Instead, I proceeded to misspell the word “camouflage,” a word that I, inexplicably, struggle with to this day. The stupid kid spelled it right, and he won. Later review of the tape proved that he did, in fact, misspell “reticent,” but you have to challenge the judges in the same round as the mistake or it doesn’t matter. So I didn’t get to go the National Spelling Bee when I totally should have.
And it’s insane. This happened over a decade ago. I have since created a very successful career for myself as a writer. I have won all sorts of awards on both the state and national level, for all sorts of things. I graduated college cum laude, and finished in the top 10% of my graduate school class. I make a good living doing something I truly love. I have an adorable dog and a wonderful family. I have loads of incredible friends who love and respect me. By nearly anyone’s measure, I am a successful person. No one — no one — cares whether or not I was in the National Spelling Bee when I was 13 years old. No one except me. Thirteen years later, I am still tangibly bitter about this. I mean, genuinely angry. Whenever I even hear mention of the National Spelling Bee, I have a very physical reaction. I get a little bit nauseous and my heart rate picks up. Really, nothing else in the world has this effect on me. It’s ridiculous, and I don’t know how to fix it. I should be over this by now. And yet I’m not. I’m not even close. I’m still as upset as I was about it back then — maybe even more so.
Anyway.
Here’s the stupid brat who won the National Spelling Bee this year. I haven’t even watched the video. I can’t. It makes me too angry.
Do they have therapists who specialize in childhood spelling bee anxiety?
what a mother LODE of crap! you should have won!
Brag much?
I was going to suggest therapy and laughed when I read the end. Yeah any good psychologist will help with that spelling bee anger. I was a walking tiny time bomb until therapy and now I am all like zen and stuff.
So find a good therapist and vent away Beet.
ah beet, you always write so well. You are consistently entertaining me. so much so that you’re my first click when I go online. that’s how successful you are. who cares if you can’t spell camouflage? some things in life we are just meant to fear. I’m bat shit scared of monkeys. and for no good reason.
There are very good reason to be scared of monkeys:
1) they fling their poo.
2) most of them can rip off your arms and beat you to death with them.
DP, how big are these monkeys? Most monkeys I see are fairly smallish. They do not have arm pulling off powers. Like the monkey from Night at the Museum. All he’s good for is being annoying. Maybe he could pull your hair or bite off your earlobe.
Also, almost getting into the National Spelling Bee sounds like a good enough reason to brag to me.
Beet, I hold grudges and get angry about things that happened 13 years ago. I mostly relax and do yoga and stuff now, which helps me be a less angry bitchy person.
Um, when I was in 2nd grade I misspelled iron. I think I spelled it iern, so retarded. Yup.
So… show of hands for people that agree with me on the notion that Beet should make a spinoff blog devoted solely to herself… and her dog.
> DP, how big are these monkeys?
Well, I am referring to Chimpanzees. Technically they are apes but when I was a kid to me a monkey was the Chimp on Tarzan.
I always misspell it “camofluage.” That’s not normal, right?
WTF? I hate such type of person….
Must have been a really traumatic experience as a young person, and those always stay with you…could be getting raped, or getting raped by dumb spelling bee judges, same situation.
Beet, you should watch it, the kid constantly looks at the back of his entry card where he obviously has a crib sheet of words. Plus, when he asks for the origin language of the word, one judge clearly says, “Fuck that, you little shitstain. Do you know how to spell the motherfucker or not?”
You should write a book. You could be the next freaking Judy Blume. Huge compliment, by the way…
Do you still have your cats?
What kind of dumbass SPELLING BEE JUDGE doesn’t know when a kid MISPELLS a word? WTF? How can you be a spelling bee judge if you don’t fucking know how to spell?? What kind of shit is that? I would be forever pissed off too if that happened to me.
But it does look like you’ve moved on and had a great life in spite of it!
Another reason why you’re infinitely more readable than that nescient Perez!
if i was you i would have told them because now you have to live with it your whoooooole life!!! you could have been the NATIONAL spelling bee champ! but good job on getting 2nd
When I was in the fifth grade, I won the school spelling bee and everyone made such a big deal out of it. This was back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, by the way. I received a medal and an ink pen and thought, “Duh. All I did was spell! You people have been drilling spelling to my head for 5 years!” The next year, I didn’t make it very far at all; mis-spelled a simple word that I’m ashamed to use, even to this day. (sigh)
I’m sorry about your experience, but I’m a dork and actually had the bee on tv last night and what you missed is the winner looking at the announcer earlier in the competition and saying “numbnut?” and the whole audience laughing. He actually looked quite relieved when the word was in fact numnah (sp?) and said as much in an interview afterwards because numbnut could be spelled in so many different ways.
again, it’s not as wonderfully entertaining as some of the links you’ve had, but i’m amused by the interaction between the contestant and the announcer. the relief just washes over the kid’s face as he realizes the word is in fact numnah.
the numbnut link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjzrNWPul9E
A friend unknowingly stirred me the other night when he mentioned he was buying a harmonica. At my fifth birthday everyone got a plastic toy harmonica with their lolly bag. There were none left for me so my mum promised me one. To this day, no plastic harmonica. I get rage blackouts. Very touchy subject.
How to fix it at this stage in your life? Track the little bastard down and kick him in the shins. :)
I’m drunk enough now to admit that I’m a bitter man. Yes, I can spell but I can’t score with the ladies. Do you think it’s because of my misogynistic attitude?
Strangely enough, I also misspelled “camouflage” to lose MY regional spelling bee.
Very cute whomever posted at 9:57 pm using my name. Obviously a chick with huge chip on her shoulder.
To Nomen….
Good idea for Beet, a column/blog only about *her* life. It could bee :) called …Sweet Beet!
And… U R A terrific writer, Beet. TextGod knows writing, naturally.
I got a new fishing pole!
@ DP:
Ok, I will give you the chimpanzees. Those fuckers could rip you in half.
And you ARE misogynistic, but it’s endearing. Gives us something else to bitch about besides omg Angelina is a bad person blah blah blah.
Yet ANOTHER reason we are meant to be ;) I beat out a 5th grader when I was in 4th grade. Went to the regionals, made it a few rounds & lost on the word ‘annuity’. I had never heard that word one time in my whole freakin life & to tell you the truth, I haven’t heard it one time since.
Bullshit.
I know Leo chewed the cord for the camera/computer connection, but I want to see more pictures of him! He is just darling.
Okay, I just have to tell you that I have a similar (though less dramatic and interesting story). At age 8 or something, I made it to state finals after having practiced long lists of words for about six months. It was a huge deal for me–well, obviously, it’s a huge deal for any kid. I got all dressed up and all my family and friends were there, and then I went up on stage and spelled my VERY FIRST word. (I don’t remember what it was so we’ll pretend.) Went like this:
Judge: Your word is “carelessly”.
Me: Carelessly. C-a-r-e-l-e-s-s-l-y.
Judge: *clears throat*
Me: Wha–what?
Judge: *looks nervous*
Me: Did I…was that wrong?
Judge: *rings bell of failure, motions for me to get off the stage*
Turns out I forgot to say the word a second time after I’d spelled it. I know those are the rules and everything, but even now it seems a little ridiculous to have disqualified me for that. And so basically, I understand your considerable spelling bee bitterness.