First: Blind date with guy my trainer set me up. We meet at a German-style pub and share a plate of potato pancakes with applesauce. He’s cute and he’s sweet and he’s funny, but he’s not my type in a lot of ways. We have a nice chat, and it’s nowhere near disastrous. Although I have no interest in seeing him romantically again, I somehow am disappointed when he has no interest in seeing me romantically again. Like, shouldn’t every guy be into me, even if I’m not into him? He says he’ll call me the next time he and his friends go out, which is so sweet of him, but it’s not exactly “So, when can I take you dinner again?” I mean, I would have politely declined, but still. All men should fall in love with me always.
Second: Come home. You know how everyone has that guy they’ve dated on and off forever, but it never really turns into anything more? Yeah. Mine’s online, and he IMs me. At this point, five years after we met, we’ve seen our “relationship” totally fail in three separate cities — usually culminating in some manner of all-out texting war where we tell each other to fuck off and die like five times and we are 26 and 33 years old now — and yet somehow we’re still talking. Unbelievable. I’d told him I had this blind date tonight. He wants to know how it went. Then he wants to know what I’m wearing. Then we exchange cell phone pics for an hour. Am I 15 years old? Am I Miley Fucking Cyrus now? Seriously, how did I end up, at 26, sitting at home alone sending dirty cell phone pictures of myself to a guy I’ve basically been fighting with for five years straight? Oh, and to make the whole situation just a little more pathetic, Leo is biting at my toe the entire time. He won’t quit. And at one point I come thisclose to sending a really inappropriate photo to the girl who manages my PR, because her last name starts with the same three letters as his.
God, is this really how badly I need an ego boost?
Yes. Yes, it is.
Third: Look for gossip. There is none. Decide it is somehow fitting to run this photo of Anderson Cooper with Sesame Street puppets and then go to bed before I give up on life entirely. Sigh.
Poor Beet ):
But, you know, if you want to. I could date you. I’m totally inetrested in taking you to dinner WITHOUT my friends.
Hm. Yeah.
Bye!
Don’t give up on life, hun.
You have such a sexy brain, seriously, I’m jealous, your mind is like the Cave of Wonders in Aladdin, so pretty and shiny. You’re totally special and you deserve a totally special guy.
I know just what you mean, though. I want guys to be interested in me even when I’m not interested in them, just so that I can have the privilege to gracefully turn them down, I guess.
I definitely feel you, you have NO idea. And its good to hear i’m not the only one chatting up guys who i really shouldn’t just for someone to talk to haha. Too bad you moved away from the LA area, we could have totally bonded over in-n-out. We’re on the saaaaaame page…
I completely agree with you on wanting guys to like you even when you don’t like them. That should be a given when the woman is hot, smart, and hilarious (like you). Don’t be too sad though, because you will probably end up dating a celebrity just because you’re a writer and actors like writers (or so I’ve heard). So when you get your super-hot actor boyfriend, just remember to hook me up with his brother. ;-)
I HEART BEET!
Leo knows who the bad guys are.
Beet, I hear this, too — every last bizarre detail. You deserve something better than Mr Cell Phone *and* Mr Blind Date.
And whatevs, don’t feel like you’re fishing or your ego is trolling. Thanks for sharing.
horse marine is right.
i totally thought of you as sexy just by reading your stuff. and when i saw your pictures on myspace and facebook, i said to myself, “F***, i’m always right.”
you can get anyone you set your eyes on, beet.
Ah grow up!
What’s so bad about being an adult at the top of your form? Get rid of the Valley Girl and be the happening woman you were meant to be. Too much prolonged adolescence in this world. It’s such a bore. Be child-like open to all things, but not childish. Yours truly: Peter Pan
you know i think if this blog was just about you and not celebs, i would still read it religiously.
i completely agree with miss noise. if this blog was only about you, beet, i would totally be into it.
seriously. you’re awesome. and you’ll find a man who get that and adores you for it at some point. until that, enjoy yourself!!!
hey Beet…..I certainly agree with the rest of your flock…..
you`re way too cool to be upset by the ‘uncool’ !
Jesus…
Looking to someone ELSE (esp a man) for a boost is your problem. No one but weirdos and predators are attracted to battered self-image and consuming need for praise/approval.
You should do yoga.
i agree with eeeeeveryone on here(besides TPVERO and Darth Paul)
i love reading these entries, i completely connect with what you’re saying…
you.are.awesome.
There isn’t a single straight guy on the planet looking for romance. We are looking to bang you or we aren’t. Romance is not a factor and belongs in cheap paperback novels.
You are looking at this whole process incorrectly. Think of dating like shopping. Spend some time checking out (i.e. shopping) various people and then concentrate on the ones you really want.
It doesn’t hurt to do lots of shopping!
I had a female roommate who had two dates per night at one point, until she settled down with one guy.
donkey punch is wrong. romance isn’t dead, it’s just harder to find these days.
Donkey Punch is a suitable name!
Beet, I feel your pain. I “dated” a guy for two years which basically consisted of us fighting 95% of the time and a whole lot of making up in between. I recently changed my phone number just to get away from him. Sadly, I’m seriously thinking about calling him again so we can, uh hem, make up. :) Eh, what are ya gonna do?
You are a wonderous human being.
this post was totally a day from my life. i’m so glad i’m not the only one :)
I dunno Beet, sound like there may be some unspoken, unrecognized reason your relationship with this guy has lasted five years. You’ve probably had serious relationships that did not last this long. Sure there’s nothing there?
do it just for fun, as you please
I agree romance is not the option
also, if it exists ,it won’t last long
men want sex and someone to take care of them
you should give what you want
not what someone expects you to
that’s what I mean having fun
and doing it your own way.
I agree with comments above stating if this blog was about you and only you, i’d still read. i think we all would. we’re your fan club!
elmo in a tux….adorable.
Beet….crap nights happen. If there was a bottle of shiraz involved, it coulve been much more entertaining.
P.S. And I concur about u being hot on myspace.
Hey can we get some of “those” pictures? You can “leak ” them to us “by mistake”!!!
Just kidding.. or not…
This post was like a page fro my own diary when I was in my 20’s. You were feeling bad about yourself and he was there to boost your ego and at the same time… eventually start being a dick. It’s the same exact kind of self-torture that smoking is all about. Get to the root of what you are pissed at yourself about, and all this shit will fade away.
Coincidence that George Clooney breaks up with his girlfriend THIS week? I think not. Write a few kiss ass posts about him…see what happens. I think its a match.