Here’s Adam Duritz & Co performing “Hanging Tree” at Bryant Park on Friday.
Man, so, in case you guys didn’t notice, the beginning of this year was a really hard time for me. (I know, I know, you noticed … when I go crazy, everybody notices.) This song struck a chord with me for some reason at that time, and I listened to it over and over and over again while I was living with my dad in Arizona, trying to get my life back together after battling illness upon illness. I listened to it about a thousand times on my drive to Seattle, right after Charlie died (that and Patty Griffin’s entire Living with Ghosts album, which I highly recommend for times of extreme depression). I hadn’t heard it in a while, and so listening to this really brought me back. It almost makes me shaky to hear, and I probably don’t want to play it over and over again because it brings back awful memories, but it also helped demonstrate for me how far I’ve come in the month and a half since I arrived in Seattle. It’s funny how music can restore an emotional state — it caught me off-guard — and this song just brings back that pit in my stomach, that enveloping sadness and hopelessness that I don’t feel anymore. I’d almost forgotten entirely how all-encompassing and unbearable that feeling was. It reminds me that I need to be grateful that I’m doing so well now, and that I need to thank God for bringing me somewhere where I could heal, and surrounding me with people and situations who could help with that process. And I’m so grateful to be reminded that what I feel at one point in my life isn’t how I’m going to feel forever.
I don’t mean to be on a soapbox, but, during that time, I got lots of emails, MySpace messages and comments from people saying that they were going through a difficult time, too, and wishing me the best, and those notes meant the world to me. To this day, I get emails from you guys saying that you’re still in a difficult time, and that watching me come through it in one piece has given you hope. So I guess I just wanted to reiterate it for those of you in a shitty place right now: this too shall pass.
Anyway, this clip cuts off after a minute and a half, so another version of them performing “Hanging Tree” is after the jump for those of you who want to hear the whole thing.
I only found this site a couple of weeks ago, maybe 2 at the most. So I don’t know about any of the stuff that you were/are going through. I love that I’ve found you, you are my fav! Glad to hear your are doing better & hope the healing continues!
Wow, Beet, you are loving yourself gently and sweetly and letting the healing happen….one of the miracles is seeing that with no effort at all, your own love and light shines the way for others as theirs shone for you. How wonderfully wise of you to know that the dark does not last forever and what a gift for others who are yet in the shadows to hear that truth. It is a kind of freedom.
You are soooooooooo solid. And good.
xox
hey thanks i needed to hear that :)
everybody hurts…sometime-
I just listen to dance music and sing along inside my car while I drive
You’ve come so far in such a short amount of time, you should be very proud. And now, I feel the need to nag: hope you’re still not smoking!
When I feel sad, I punch things. Or listen to music. Good for you though!
Does Beet still have the hots for Adam? You failed to mention the moist panty thing you had for hairy dude.
this girl is in a shitty place. your post was brilliant.
“It reminds me that I need to be grateful that I’m doing so well now, and that I need to thank God for bringing me somewhere where I could heal, and surrounding me with people and situations who could help with that process”
this especially strikes a chord.
Yes, but she still hates people from 3rd world countries.
She never said that she hates people from 3rd world countries, Donkey Punch.
Now I understand why you’re so fucked up EB.
I sure hope that you are right Beet, and that this too shall pass. It has been really hard to get myself out of this horrible funk that I have been in. I have been working on it for 5 months now, and just when it seems to get better, I have a set back, then I feel like I am starting all over again. You are proof, however, that things do get better.
So glad to hear you are happy! You deserve it, just like everyone else. The hard times are for us to learn the lessons we have to learn. Love you, Beet!