Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Memo to Hayden Panettiere: Less Dolphins, More Grey Goose

Honestly, Hayden, if you have to be obsessed with marine life, at least make sure it’s related to liquor.

This is the freakin’ last time I am going to cover you and your damn whales, Hayden. After this, you’d better come up with something better to get publicity. Like get pregnant or drive drunk or something. This shit is boring.

On Wednesday, Hayden Panettiere will put two whale-related items up for bids on eBay to support SaveTheWhalesAgain.com. I think the name says it all. Save the whales? Again? Didn’t we already do this in the nineties?

One item is a fundraising dinner at Eva Longoria’s restaurant, Beso. It will include a personal photo op with Hayden. The other is a private whale-watching tour with Hayden off the coast of Santa Barbara.

Booooooooooooooring!

Listen, Hayden, get your cute ass pregnant or drunk or I am putting a freakin’ ban on any and all Hayden Panettiere coverage around here.

Whales are great, sweetheart, but have you noticed that you’re 18 now? You can let your hair down, baby. Get into some trouble. Seduce Brad Pitt. It’s all fair game. You’re hot. Are you going to let some 15-year-old Disney bitch steal your spotlight? You can be anything you want to be. Call up Annie Leibovitz and get your ass naked on the cover of Vanity Fair. Nothing’s stopping you!

Someone get this girl a shot!

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