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BREAKING: John Mayer Has a Huge Penis

May 18, 2008
Evil Beet
Uncategorized
120 Comments

Oh, I love stories like this.

The NY Daily News has a bit about how Jennifer Aniston’s friends think it’s way out of character how hard she’s falling for John.

But there’s an explanation!

He has a huge cock!

“She’s just so happy and giggly. It is completely out of character,” said one spy.

The reason can’t just be that she is dating John Mayer. No one is that happy with Jessica Simpson’s sloppy seconds. What we hear is there is a certain feature of John that leaves Jen so pleased. The crooner’s ex-paramours reveal he is hell to get over, not because he’s a great guy, but because he’s a “great” guy, if you know what we mean.

“His body actually is a wonderland,” one ex was overheard saying.

The moral of the story: Women are totally willing to put up with a cheating womanizer, as long as he’s packing where it counts.

Sheesh.

120 CommentsLeave a comment

  • That’s silly… Size actually doesn’t count… A not so “great” man can do way more in bed than a “great” man if he knows what he is doing…

  • My ex was HUGE, but unlike Jessica and Jennifer, I couidn’t put up with his lying,cheating ways. It was good, but not that good!

  • My goodness… he’s so adorable in that picture! **swoon**

    And Cass, I’ll agree whole-heartedly! It’s all about what he’s packin in that mouth :P

  • If you’ve ever tried BIG (I mena really big), you KNOW that you’d be totally willing to put up with a cheating womanizer.
    If you never tried it, don’t speak of what you don’t know. Get back to me after you did.

  • Different strokes for different folks, I guess – I’ve had BIG & frankly, BIG can be kinda painful. Like your cervix is being rammed into your throat. Never mind the gag reflex it can trigger during oral sex. Plus I’ve found that some BIG guys think they can skate by on size alone & neglect skill. Not saying I want SMALL (sorry, the caps crack me up) but MEDIUM will do me just fine thank you.

  • we saw the lime green thong picture. That boy is all taters. Can’t be size-must be his technique.

  • What is with all these stories this week of celebs with big dicks? First Sean Connery and Johnny Depp. Now this guy.

    Do they all share the same PR person?

  • haha- Good one Donkey! I agree with Froze. Medium please, with a great everything else. I’m a lucky gal. John Mayer is very good looking most of the time, but he’s got that effeminate thing going on that, personally, leaves something to be desired.

  • over-rated to say the least. Jen is just confused and desperately seeking a stable relationship. Hopefully she will come to her senses. This guy is a jerk and really not very attractive.

  • Have it ever dawned on you sweet ladies that you are being feed a pack of garbage by a PR agency? well you are.
    They need to puff up John Mayer’s image so they are leaking all of this garbage. You guys are feeding right into it.

  • It will not work on me. He is not all that.
    He is a sleezy douchg bag for sure. Jen is desperate since she is almost 40. This guy really accent her being 40 years old, her people are making a mistake linking her with him. I think it tears her image down too much.

  • For Jen or her people to have leaked this garbage shows she has no class. I see why everyone is calling her a Sl*t.
    She opens up to alot of men.

  • I SO agree with ‘MelKa’!!!
    If you’ve never been with a guy with a huge cock, you can’t understand.
    I was, 15 years ago, and STILL think about it! Even though my husband is bigger than average and very good in bed. You just can’t help it!

  • She went from Brad Pitt, who allegedly is rather small, to Mayer, who, if you believe the hype, is packing. Of COURSE she’s giddy as a schoolgirl! PR, shme R–given all the hotties he’s bagged, there’s gotta be some truth to the rumor. I’d love to know what the deal is with David Spade and Zach Braff too. Seriously.

    And yeah, MelKa, you speak the truth. I’ve been seeing my “Mr Big” for over 16 years–cheated on every BF I had with him–and I ain’t NEVER letting that thang go :D Don’t kid yourselves, fellas; size DOES count…

  • wow jen likes john ramming her up..good to know she loves being rammed haha..i’d say cock size is more important than balls size as balls the gals can pretty much lick and slurp it all in one go..either way it just feels good so why should size matter when ur feeling good getting a blow or giving it. xD

  • Well, I just wanna say its not about the size. Don’t mean to offend anyone but i have 9 1/2 inches, and i girlfriend always complain about pain. i think regular is best.

  • It’s not the size of the penis that counts because it’s the asshole attached to it that is going to break your heart.

  • Hey Anonymous, I have a big dick and I don’t act like a big dick. On the contrary, I am more like ricardo’s comment. I usually have a big smirk or a goofy grin on my face. And to respond to Jay24’s comment. I am just over 9 myself and very thick. My girlfriend also complains about my size. She is small so I have to give her that. But when she is really into it, pain is often replaced by immense pleasure. Besides, my ex’s never complained and still call me for more. I politely oblige……LOL.

  • Yeah MelKa, you are so right and everyone else who agrees with her statement. Not that I have tried big meat but I am the proud owner of big meat and I have seen the reaction on womens faces. Priceless…talk about an American Express commercial…..LOL. MelKa, kellie cruz and anyone else interested in big meat should feel free to contact me.

  • To turn the tables, if a guy says he’s okay with small tits then he’s lieing. Big tits are definitely better. Sorry to all the small titted women who posted about how they like big cocks, not to mention those women who posted on here with loose vaginas.

  • i’m a Chinese,and my penis is 5.9 inches which is very big in China.every chinese girl I f*cked complained too big…..I can’t imagine western men even got 9 1/2 inches.if use that to XXX with chinese girl.they’re gonna die!!

  • The poster named “Janie” is correct. These types of sites boost these guys up for PR reasons. This guy’s cock isn’t anything important. You females will buy into anything. I’m slightly above average and I tell women I’m huge. They fall for it every time. They’re too stupid to know that most people that brag about it are liars.

  • I think most girls would rather look at a big cock then have one rammed in ’em. But thats just what me and my friends say.

  • MelKa says:

    If you’ve ever tried BIG (I mena really big), you KNOW that you’d be totally willing to put up with a cheating womanizer.
    If you never tried it, don’t speak of what you don’t know. Get back to me after you did.——————————
    Thank you for speaking for all women on earth! You must know exactly what everyone of us wants, right? I never understood why women who like big cocks are so adamant that every women loves them, and if they say they don’t they are lying or never had one. My ex was a good two inches longer than a Wii controller and thick. He was a very nice guy and I loved him, but I sex was not fun. It hurt my cervix, gave me urinary tract infections and oral (which I enjoy) was about as enjoyable as being in traction. I by no means like small dicks, but preferably I like a little larger (especially thicker) than average. And why would you put up with a cheating womanizer? I don’t care if he’s as small as a pinky or as large as a bottle of Ozarka. That’s just plain dumb.

  • The Truth is , if anyone actually wanted to take the time to document , the hard cold Facts, And that is Big Time Actors ( males) ya know the A list, Brad pit, excluded cuz he’s got it in the face and the bod, with average cock , Cuz let’s face it with the Google, Everyone has seen it , The Hogg Warts Start??? got naked full frontal for us recently nice but average. But all kidding aside, the majority of Top Working MALE movie stars, with only a Few Exceptions like Timberlake, DiCaprio,George Clunie And who cares what he’s packing, since he’s so blessed with Talenet and is a GOD, full Blown Movie star Michale Douglas, or just fill in the blank where these actors know them self’s, that they better Pour there heart out with there Talent, Cuz they ant getting Any extra Credit, With the LARGE COCK, be known!!!! The BORNE identy star, ( fat short cock)there average and on a Cold Set, ” SMALL”! all those guys ACTORS, Have very carefully not done a Frontal Nude Shot EVER, where there pee pee has been captured on the Final Release of a movie,THEY ALL HAVE SMALL PENISES, Now on the other hand, all the BIGGIES < THAT ARE A GOOD FULL representation of HEALTHY AVERAGE TO GETTING Pretty thick there, To OMG,,,,to ,is That Fregan Thing fregan REAL, ( Farrell) they has to take the Full Frountal out of the final Release , Cuz the test audences “males” were so uncomfortable Seeing Such a LARGE Cock hanging on a Top Male Movie idel, psycoilgally, Make the males Feel INFERIOR< as they Should, Can you imagine sitting in on that meeting , Well MR Ferrel, im sorry but We’ve had to cut out your Frontal Cock Seen, because frankly Sir, your Penis is just to big, for audience to Handel, Christ, if i were him i just might not ever where underwear again, with confidence like that!, Any way i got a little carried away, Truth be known, don’t believe me pay attention, to the movies and the scenes , big ass male movie stars have big ass COCKS ( for the most part) it kinda makes you wonder what happens in the CASTING ROOM hu?
    Mark Walberg, movie Carrier Kinda Sling Shot to the TOP in a HURRY, And yea, he can ACT, BUT more over, Ill bed my ass he has a PRETTY big Wiener. Big Male movie Stars That know there Packing have already Done Scenes in moves, And Rocked it out With there Cock’s out ,and why Not ! There Proud and Envied my men The world over! Stars Like Kevin Bacon, Bruce Willis and just fill in the rest. so The Moral of This Little Soap box Chant is……If They got hanging,( or if the actor thick’s he packing ( as evident with) Daniel Radcliff , harry poter dude, Going out of his Way to get is Pecker Plastered all over the World wide web, Saying , don’t think im just a little boy woosie actor, I’m a Stude with a heafty thick Cock, Come ladies Ya want some, Wow, What an Awsome Way to advertize over and above the Meek mield mannered caricheter your FAMIOUS for , & now that your Fucking Famious, You want to attract the Horny babes to do SOME FAMIOUS FUCKING, BRILENT Daniel Radcliffe . Come To think of it, I woulden’t put it past Brad Pit to have hired and Leaked His Full Frontal Nude picks to the Web and the World, And think about it , After that happended Any body, Who is Anybody, “”Males”” that is , Its ‘kinda like well if Fucken BRAD, as big a star as his is, is wipping it out, Fuck it lets all Do it , And they have been!!!! so keep it coming MALE STARS, And the Few hold outs, Just there EGO alone, Wont keep that Trouser Snake hidden much longer , Cuz they gotta Step up to the plate, So to speak and Say, YEa, Well Not only am i a Awsome Actor, Yea I got a big ol Cock Too!

    TABDC ( The Actors Big Dick Club!)

  • fuck for my 5 $Dollar it is a very very good prise iam GAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • CASS : I agree with Racheal SIZE MATTERS!!!!

    I think the whole “Size doesn’t matter” concept is just so the male ego isn’t hurt.

    Take it from a woman, size matters to us.

  • I enjoyed this site very much and have taken away a better insight. I will recommend this site to everyone I know. More people should step into .

  • OMG…!!!!!!!!!!!
    u are all just so pervet
    im fucking dont care abaut if John Mayer has a huge penis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • This story would be better IF WE ACTUALLY GOT TO SEE THE PENIS!
    … who wants to hear talk about how big is it, show us some photos damnit lol

  • ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • i’ll believe you if i can see a picture. but, if you want to, you can just post it online so every can see. im sure im not the only one who wants to see. by the way, im not a weirdie. im just…………………………hmmmmmmmmm……………………………curious.

  • HE LOOKS GOOD. I totally agree with 2sexy4u.This page just NEEDS a pic, or several pics…
    Anyway, y do they know that this John Mayer guy’s got giant uknowwats!!
    Did they see him in the showers or did they pull his pants down?!
    PS. I would luv a reply.!

  • I fucked with John last yr. Yep. Seriously giant. i just sort of squeezed it, then he wet the sheets, phisically.i wos grossed out i vowed im never gonna fuck again

  • i know this is a gossip column thereby it is not really savvy for smart people to hang out here but can’t you think of other things to at least fight about. I mean, just because someone doesn’t want to hear about a penis does not mean they are gay, actually, they are just smart. It’s a dumb topic. Either it works or it doesn’t.

  • yeah, i bet i agree with u, woogey watever smartypants, but this is a gossip site, duhh.
    So save the ggoody talk 4 ur know it all friends.
    hey, sure johns real?(hahaha)

  • rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrri dont like woogey, he messed up this site.i 0rder u woogey, write a reply for this and never enter a gossip site again! understand?

  • what the fuck!!!! you gay lords!!! if you like pussy stick your cock in her ass! you guys are bich shit!!!

  • what the fuck!!!! you gay lords!!! if you like pussy stick your cock in her ass! you guys are bich shit!!!

  • what the fuck!!!! you gay lords!!! if you like pussy stick your cock in her ass! you guys are bich shit!!!

  • what the fuck!!!! you gay lords!!! if you like pussy stick your cock in her ass! you guys are bich shit!!!

  • what the fuck!!!! you gay lords!!! if you like pussy stick your cock in her ass! you guys are bich shit!!!

  • frsit all of you guys are fuckin ass holes!!!if you like pussy go suck your moms and put your cock in her ass!

  • frsit all of you guys are fuckin ass holes!!!if you like pussy go suck your moms and put your cock in her ass!

  • frsit all of you guys are fuckin ass holes!!!if you like pussy go suck your moms and put your cock in her ass!

  • I want to have a gay sex with any hot guy! I want to suck the fucking penis and i’ll let you fuck my ass hole

  • look, all you retards. the jury is out of this guy’s hose dimensions until we see proof. if aniston is into this guy, all that means is he’s a butt-wipe, since she’s got a proven history for seeking out abusive men to kick her around. i read in the post that mayer likes to puff on cigs while self-abusing cunts like her suck his dick. they deserve it.

  • its uncut pencil-dick. <6″. but he’s down-to-earth. and he quit smoking—and he’s really brilliant

  • How big is his “huge cock” I think she just was happy to say that is was bigger than the last guy she was fucking.

  • i was lucky to be born with a 13i its so big i can give my self a blow job name and adress with held

    • Man, you have to put a visual on xtube or porntube and make the rest of us men feel gloriusly jealous. By the time I knew what to do, I couldn’t bend that far anymore. Wasted my early youth by not practicing folding over.
      Like most guys all I can do along those lines is watch and flip out.

  • Jen’s just trying to make Brad jealous. The only posters that seem to care about Mayer’s dick are dudes.

  • john mayer has a HUGE cock i know because i fucked him(btw im a girl)
    he stick his huge cock in my huge vagina and we had fun especially when he fingered my hot cunt ohh yeahh i luved it

  • yh and im sure your mother taught u better …u horny bitch your judging us but why are you on this website fucking horny tramp

    ps im talking about JENAEsha

  • I had gay sex with john mayer and his cock is not big at all…. It is really small! I could not feel him in my ass. Oh! He likes to swallow cum too…

    You are all gay and need to get lives….. Fucking ass pirates!!!!

    Go fuck your mom!

  • this is absolutely ecstatically amazingly super duperly funny to hear these types of comments on these types of sites
    all the randomness and pretending someone “fucked” someone it cracks me up every time as i read about it.
    i hope u guys have “jizzed” or came (woteva u “cool” kids say these days) in ur pants thinking about the size of someones penis
    i am so jealous that my penis (im a trans) isn’t as big as u guys.
    and i wish my penis could get up someones anal passage.
    well i hope u guys r absolutely proud of urselves now

    (btw i am actually all woman).

  • HAHAHAH!…..while i am no slouch in the size department ( 8 1/2″ cut) it cracks me up to hear women talk about “big” “medium” and “small” . usually, when a woman complains that a guys dong is on the “small” side, usually what she isnt mentioning is to her it feels small for one reason. because she has a pussy thats as big as the grand canyon, and when she spreads her legs, you can see the bottom without touching it. she HAS to have a larger cock, just to feel satisfied because her pussies been fucked and abused so much its all stretched out. all women are BORN with tight twats. if they are worn out and stretched out, its their fault for fucking everthing that moves.. guys have no control over what god gave them, and they ( contrary to smilin’ bob) cant change what they have. the only women ive ever fucked that hollered love your big cock are the ones who were loose as a goose with a bad case of “echo pussy”. women with tight twats generally scream when i give it to them.

    SOOOOO when some of you ladies get online and talk about how much you like big dicks, you arent doing nothing but telling the majority of us guys who read it that you could park a mercedes in your snatch.

  • yea ho’s,its like throwin a hot dog down a hallway,or feedin a tick tack to a whale,dirty little whores,u just love a hue thick vainy shaft that you can stroke with both hands while you nurse on the huge bulbous mushroom tip,yer dads must be proud
    ilovemymomlandon@yahoo.com

  • I cannot believe that you idiots are buying into this idiotic BULLSHIIIT RUMOR that has been started by non other than John Mayer himself!

    He’s the assjack that started the rumors of having a big one to get more women to like him, and it has worked like a charm, because women are all over him like horse flies on hot smelly shit!

    I know someone who used to be with him, and she says that he used to be a good guy, but after the Hollywood dating scene, he’s turned into a real bloody tampon for every once of attention. Why she saved pics of him? I have no idea, but she did, and I could not believe that she actually showed me the pics….but I’m sorry people, but John Mayer is hung like a fury rabbit!

    John makes men from India look large, trust me! HE’S ALL POTATOES & NO MEAT!

    I must say though, the comments on here are hilariously entertaining. You people make me laugh, but you’re still SICK!

  • If you’ve been blessed to see Mayer meat up close and personal, then you know it’s true. Those men are hung! They have been blessed by the Gods. I say this because I know, have see it with my own eyes, have first hand knowledge. I’m not trying to kiss anyones ass, and I have nothing to gain by saying it. So if the world wants to believe that JM made up that rumor (all by his little ‘ol self), then they’re all a bunch of idiotic losers. Not only are they handsome, smart, and witty, they’re packing huge cocks in their pants. I wouldn’t, and couldn’t agree with the previous comment of “ALL POTATOES, AND NO MEAT!” Apparently, someone is jealous.

  • I once put an ad in CL in Hollywood and got a response from a guy names John. He lived in a building which felt like a hostile off Cherokee by the 99 cent only store. It was a nice and clean place. Someone was cooking. We went upstairs to a room. He was tall. His chest seemed shaven. Not big muscles but had some definition in his chest. He pulled out his penis. It was thick and soft. Once hard, I couldn’t believe how thick it was. It was like the thick end of a baseball bat. Not curvy at all, just thick and long. He shot a load about 3 feet. Amazing. This happened like 5 years ago. Looked just like him if it wasn’t him.

  • I haven’t been with him.. it’s not true. I just imply I’ve been with him because that’s my fantasy, along with many other lonely cat owners. But I’ll be honest, I’m only supporting this rumour because I’m a desperate slapper who can’t get with men of this calibre so I settle for gorilla-like rapists up in the club. That is, if they’re drunk enough. I only wish John Mayer’s penis was as big as a neanderthalic moron that uses his fists to think because I’m a slut and I’d be very disappointed if things were any other way.

  • Why dont you show a picture of J.M penis, then the case will be closed in a few seconds.
    But then we dont have anything to talk about dont we Watson…

  • But why do you take one thing one woman has done and then say “all women” do this? I don’t get it.