Here’s Angie looking all gorgeous and preggers and perfect and shit as she leaves a restaurant in LA.
I have a plan, you guys. I devised it earlier this week. Ready for it? It’s genius.
Okay:
Angelina Jolie was just a couple months shy of her 27th birthday when she adopted Maddox. If I’m still single on my 27th birthday, I’m going to adopt a kid from Cambodia. And if I’m still single a couple years after that, I’m going to adopt a kid from Ethiopia. And then what will happen is I will meet my Brad Pitt and be gorgeous and humanitarian and adored and rich and perfect. It’s all so simple, I can’t believe I didn’t think of it sooner! Happiness is finally within my reach!
I shared this plan with my mom the day after I came up with it. My mother is so very tolerant of my little schemes. She was like, “That’s a good idea, sweetheart. That’s almost a year from now. I think you should use that year to do some intensive therapy. And if you still want to adopt a Cambodian baby at the end of a year of therapy, I will support you.”
So I have a shrink appointment on Monday! I am well on my way to my Cambodian baby, you guys!!!
Heh. The shrink is gonna be like, “So, tell me why you’re here.” And I’m going to look her straight in the eyes and be like, “So that my mom will let me get my Cambodian baby.” Heh heh. This is going to be awesome.
I can’t wait for your Cambodian baby. What a masterplan, Beet! You have made us all very proud.
Angelina looks a little like a T. Rex, how is it that her hands stay so thin? Um, will you please name your new baby Yum. Thanks
instead of going to other countries, there are plenty of little cute american kids that you can adopt… that’s all I’m saying. Besides, I have a kid and it’s not it’s cracked up to be. Celebrities make it look so glamourous! Wait til your kid is three and throwing temper tantrums in Chuck E Cheese and you turning red trying to scoop your kid off of the ground and other parents looking at you and thinking to themselves, “Gosh, what a horrible parent… she can’t even get her kid under control…”… not that it’s never happened to me. :o)
Hee. I like your little schemes.
Oooo you must tell us about the details of your appointment next week!!!
Never found this psycho chick to be sexy. Between keeping vials of her former husband’s blood and Angelina making out with her brother that she really, really loves I just really don’t find her appealing.
Eat some food Angelina!
haha your mum sounds awesome. I love when she turns up in your rants.
hahahahhaha
let us know how therapy goes!
My, oh, my. That sounds like a fabulous plan. Muhaha
If it’s a boy name him Beet-Nik.
If bumble bee’s are your thing then yes she looks great. I mean sometimes I wonder why people who like this mess of a women. Are unable to use critical thinking when they see her. This outfit is not a good looking thing.
lmao Beet you need to let us know how it goes haha how do you come up with this stuff!
I HEART BEET!! i swear this post was just what i needed this morning. you crack me up!!! and i like Erin’s suggestion of Beet-Nik. But that’s a whole nother post….. which i also can’t wait for!!
TOO FUNNY…..
BEET-NIK STILL HAS ME ASS OFF..
**BEET-NIK HAS ME LAUGHING MY ASS OFF…..ITS STILL EARLY*****
omg she’s wearing something of color.
Don’t drink the kool-aid, Evil Beet. We are a jealous of our Blogger, and refuse to share you with anyone!
omg! i was JUST telling my friend i wanted to adopt an asian baby….we are kindred spirits Beet
Fantastic plan. Awesome. Maybe you could also adopt a penguin from Antarctica and one up her!
Don’t feel bad, Beet. You still have hope, you’re young. I’m in the same boat.
Please post what happens when you go!!! I’m 26 as well.
hahahaha! i fucking love you Beet! you crack me up. definitely adopt babies! i will be your personal nanny. you know angie has like 8.
Oh boy…
That’s shameless