Who Do I Have to Fuck for Something Interesting to Happen This Week? (Also: Pretty People Are Smarter)

I know, I know, it’s Christmas, but still.

This has been the most boring week ever. Nothing’s happened!! (Josh & Fergie getting engaged doesn’t count, because in my special Evil Beet land, that never happened, and Josh is still saving his virginity for me.)

I did something today that I’ve never done before in my life.

I read the Economist.

And now you’re going to do it, too, because they have a very interesting article today (via Jezebel) asserting that pretty people are smarter, more cultured and overall just plain better than ugly people.

That happens because beauty is a real marker for other, underlying characteristics such as health, good genes and intelligence. It is what biologists call an unfakeable signal, like the deep roar of a big, rutting stag that smaller adolescents are physically incapable of producing. It therefore makes biological sense for people to prefer beautiful friends and lovers, since the first will make good allies, and the second, good mates.

That brings the beautiful opportunities denied to the ugly, which allows them to learn things and make connections that increase their value still further. If they are judged on that experience as well as their biological fitness, it makes them even more attractive. Even a small initial difference can thus be amplified into something that just ain’t—viewed from the bottom—fair.

So, you girls know what to put on your Christmas lists next year: plastic surgery!

Okay, back to hunting for stories.