So, as some of you know, I work for Film.com, which is normally like working for no one at all, since they’re based in Seattle and I’m in LA and for the most part they don’t give a shit what I do as long as the traffic’s coming in and there’s not vagina on the front page, but every now and then I get a little request from them. “Can you do something on XYZ?” and my typical reaction is to spend more time emailing them back explaining why it violates my moral code of standards and is in many ways an affront to my personal religion to write about XYZ than it would have taken me to just write the damn piece in the first place.
Anyway, they want a “Best of 2007” piece and you know what? I don’t wanna fucking write it. It means slogging through pages and pages of old material and that is hard and time-consuming and boring and I’m too pretty to do things I don’t want to do.
I mean, there’s the obvious: Britney, Britney, Britney, Anna Nicole dead, the late-coming JLS pregnancy, etc, but there have to be some hidden gems in there.
So help me out, guys: what were your fave celeb moments of 2007? Big, small, funny, sad, whatever. If you cared about it, post it here. And if you’re funny about it, you just might end up quoted in my piece.
Oh, and I’m also interested in predictions for the coming year. What do you think 2008 will bring? Besides another Spears spawn?
britney with herpes mouth and perez hilton finally acknowledging carrot top and fergie share genetic make-up.
If you include “2 girls 1 cup” in your review, I’m sure it will be the last time you will be asked to write this kind of shit.
I predict Paris Hilton will finally acknowlegde she is mentally retarded. Making it unacceptable to make fun of her.
I must say that the shots of Paris weeping copiously in the back of that cop car last summer brought me immeasurable joy. I wish the cunt had stayed locked up, but whatever.
you could go on and on about paris, lohan, and the spears sisters!
2007: The Year of the Serial Rehabbers
My favourite, “Is Britney Spears Peeing in Belgium”.
Man, “Ladies & Gentlemen, Sting’s Penis” has to be on the Evil Beet All Time Greatest Hits list but I don’t think it was this year.
I liked your work on the Nick Lachey & what’s-er-name’s hot tub shots. For sheer drama, the Lohan DUIs, Paris crying for her momma, pick-your-favorite Britney moment. For sheer pathos, the Anna Nicole as clown with little girl video (did you cover that?).
Tell those absentee bosses of yours that our (sorry, my) favorite thing this year in this blog was the Evil Beet herself. Blogging diligently, even when it means upsetting your own dear momma, it’s your wicked wit that’s the key to the whole thing. The gossip, it’s all out there on the great big internets but it’s what the Beet has to say that makes me laugh out loud at my computer. Happy New Year!`
Let’s see… a Beet-o-riffic year in review! *pops knuckles*
January 31st: Sienna Miller Drops the F-Bomb on The Today Show
February 19th: Antonella Barba Sucks Cock
February Runner Up: Rehab #2 Featuring Lindsay Lohan (24th)
March 27th: Um Is It Just Me or Are These the Fakest[sic] Katie Holmes Nudes Ever?
April 15th: Katie and Peter
April Runner Up: Someone Let Avril Lavigne Release Another Album (17th)
May was hard… like choosing between Griffendor & Slitherin…
May 4th: Sara Jean Underwood: Playmate of the Year
May Runner Up: Paris Hilton Arrives at Court (4th)
May Honorable Mention: Hey Look, Guys, It’s Dita Von Teese’s Vagina! (20th)
May Pop-Up Prize: Lily Allen: Blow Job Queen (29th)
June 19th: Ladies and Gentlemen: Sting’s Penis
June Runner Up: Remember When? (8th) (About Lindsay Lohan in “Mean Girls”)
July 14th: Um, When Did Jennifer Love Hewitt Get Fat?
August 23rd: What is Zac Efron Wearing?
August Runner Up: I Don’t Care What Perez Hilton Says, I Think Beth Ditto Is Kind of Disgusting (24th)
September Beetland was pwned by Vanessa Hudgen’s nekked body…
September 6th: High School Musical Just Got Interesting
September 7th: Vanessa Hudgens Apologizes for Naked Photos
September 10th: Who the Hell is Drake Bell? And Why Did Vanessa Hudgens Send Him Naked Pictures?
Halloween: Game Over for Dog the Bounty Hunter: RACIST RANT!!
October Runner Up: Hoang Thuy Linh and the Sex Tape (25th)
November 13th: Owen Wilson’s Latest Arm Candy (wtf… LeCall? That’s her freakin name? Comedy goldmine.)
December 18th: Oh Shit, We’ve Got Some Heather Mills Pussy
December Runner Up: WTF? Jamie-Lynn Spears is PREGNANT?!?! (18th)
Yearly Favorite: Paris and a Penis…Like Peanut Butter and Jelly (19th March)
Because that is some fine alliteration . Say it out loud. It could easily be the melody for a pop song.
“Paris and a Penis, Like Peanut Butter and Jelly… slap the two together and.. BAM! Wooah Nelly!”
Enjoy
You guys all rock so hard.
I swear to God EB, I don’t know what the fuck I would do without you guys. I work the front desk at a hotel (a Hilton ;-)) and it get’s so fucking boring up here and I swear to god, on an 8 hour shift, I’m on EB for about 6 of them since there isn’t anything to do but play on the computer and this is one site they haven’t blocked yet. So seriously, you guys are awsome and sooooo fucking funny and I love you to death. Keep the evil alive. xoxo