HAPPY HANNUKAH!! J.R. Rotem is on JDATE!!!!

AHHHHHHHHH HA HA HA HA HA!

Thanks to DListed for the tip on this one!

Apparently after things didn’t work out with Britney Spears, J.R. Rotem turned to JDATE!!

See? He’s a nice Jewish boy!

I actually have a subscription to the thing, thanks to my mom’s nagging (wanna date me? anyone? PLEASE?), so I signed on and sent him a flirt. We’ll see what happens. Maybe I’ll have a wild, sexy romance with J.R. Motherfucking Rotem and we can light the Hannukah candles together and then drip the hot wax all over each other and I’ll make him call me Britney while he slaps my ass. WOULD THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY, MOM?

Here’s what his profile says:

ABOUT ME:
Hey girls… Congrats for stumbling onto my profile – you just hit the jackpot! I am Jonathan, an established music producer who is having a challenging time meeting a hot Jewish girl with good values. The success and visibility I have earned in the music industry keeps me surrounded by the wrong girls (golddiggers, cheap chicks, wannabe artists looking to use a guy like me for a music career, money, fame, etc) Some personality traits that seperate me from most of the people I know in Los Angeles is a high moral code of honesty and loyalty. I would never cheat or lie to anyone I’m with as I believe in treating others as you would want to be treated. I think that those values are the fundamental part of establishing a meaningful relationship. That, and intense physical attraction…

My perfect first date:
Let me take control – trust me, you will like it…

Rest of the profile is after the jump.

I will personally make out with anyone who can find him on Match.com.

Physical Info

I am: 5′ 10″ (178 cm) I weigh: 168 Pounds (76 kg)
My hair is: Brown My eyes are: Blue Green
My body style is closest to: Muscular
Back to top
Background

I grew up in: Northern California
My ethnicity is: Ashkenazi
I speak: English, Hebrew
My Religion: Reform
I studied or am interested in: music
My education: Bachelor’s Degree
Occupation Entertainment/Media/Dramatic Arts
Occupation description: Music Producer
Annual income: Will tell you later
Political Orientation: Unspecified
Back to top

Personality and Interests

My personality is best described as:
Humorous/Witty, Self Confident
In my free time, I enjoy:
In my free time, I like to go to:
Movies
My favorite physical activities:
Working Out/Weightlifting
I like/own these pets:
My favorite food(s):
My favorite music:
Pop/Top 40, Rap/Hip Hop
I like to read:
Back to top
Relationships

My perfect first date:
Let me take control – trust me, you will like it…
My ideal relationship:
Honesty, loyalty, excitement, passion
My past relationships:
Having mutual values is very important for compatibility in a long term relationship
Back to top
My Ideal Match

Age Range:
18 to 28
Relationship Status:
Single
Religious Background:
Education Level:
High School
Drinking Habits:
Smoking Habits:
I am looking for a:
Beautiful, sexy, honest girl to treat like a princess and have fun with..