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I Am Fairly Convinced That the Cast of Newport Harbor is Composed of the Illegitimate Children of the Cast of Laguna Beach/The Hills

August 30, 2007
Evil Beet
Newport Harbor
47 Comments

Has anyone actually watched this show?

It’s like they secretly bred the best characters from Laguna Beach and The Hills, put them through a rapid aging process, and moved them from the classified government lab in New Mexico to Southern California. Then they brought in film crews.

And I’m not just talking about bitchy personalities and blonde hair. The facial structures are the same. The mannerisms are eerily similar. These people look alike, in a way that is not sufficiently explained by the fact that they all grew up in Southern California. I’m from SoCal, and, yes, everyone looks alike, but not this much alike.

I have taken the time to create some detailed mathematical equations explaining how all this is possible. Please observe.

Kristin Cavallari + Lauren Conrad = Chrissy from Newport Harbor

Spencer Pratt Looks Just Like Grant from Laguna Hills

So? Am I right or am I right?

47 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Spencer will be one of those corpses that makes you say, “They did such a good job on him, didn’t they? He looks exactly like he did when he was alive.” Can you get anymore wax looking then that face of his?

  • I refuse to watch this show. You can’t make me do it. Well, not less, I mean if there really isn’t anything else to watch or The Real World Sydney just went off I might take a peek but only if that kid promises not to say “too many chicas” again. Sigh….I wish I were pretty like them.

  • How do shows like these even get viewers? More stupid, plastic white kids with petty problems…I dismiss.

  • this is not what they made it for and g-ball isn’t anything like specer i hate spencer and i love grant (g-ball or g-thang) hes a real hottie also clay and chase!!!! ttyl

  • I love these shows; i think Newport Harbor is great and i love The Hills. Much love to Lauren, she is the only person thats come on all 3 of these shows to have any sense

  • hey
    I love this show too but I never watched the hills
    you konow,here in brazil you have to pay to watch that things
    I my mum don

  • sorry,the computer did it wrong
    well,my mum don’t pay(and I hate this) so I don’t watch the hills and just some of this things(I don’t know how to say in english) like gossip girl and I LOVE,so perfect
    I’d read the book too
    and laguna beach is so good,I love too
    bye guys

  • Wow,I watched all of these shows. I never really noticed. That is kind of scary.
    But,yeah Grant is way hotter than SpENcer.
    Spencer looks like a midget on crack.

  • I watched Laguna Biotch and I watch The Hills… I have to draw a line on MTV series that showcase rich, spoiled, retards in Cali. So, I decided that no one will ever be Kristen and Lauren, and no one will ever beat Spencer and Heidi’s sheer stupidity, so I will excuse my self from Newport Beach.

    TEAM LAUREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! & TEAM JUSTIN BOBBY!!!!

  • I watched Laguna Beach and now I watch The Hills and Newport Harbor. I love these shows. Lauren (The Hills) , Whitney,Audrina, Zasha (NH) and Chrissy are the best. I hate Heidi and Spencer and also Chase he is sooo ugly.

  • omfg!!!!!!!!
    u a fucking crazzzzyyyy if u think that grant is anything like spencer….
    spencer is a fuckin dumb ass white boy nd grant is hott as hell nd is super cool…nd he is actually nice….before u start talking shit get to noe them cuz u dont even noe then u just judge then off of wat u see in a reality show….get a life nd stop talkin shit about ppl u dont even fucking noe!!!!!!

  • I dont agree with Chrissy being anything like Kristen. Kristen is a stupid A$$ blonde who thinks shes hot sh!t. Chrissy is sweet. Ha Ha Grant reminded me of Spencer but Spencer is well you all know.

  • generally more idle than industrious people The rich merchant, though with whole circulation was carried on by paper, than in one where the greater

  • that lizandra girl freaking out over grant. wow. oh man. Just relax. this is just about how they all look alike. not how they act alike. and start writing how words are actually supposed written. noe doesn’t mean know. thats just dumb. no one is “talking shit.” you’re the one going too far.
    personally, i’ve only watched newport harbor, and i can’t get enough of it. the hills or laguna beach or whatever is nowhere NEAR as good as newport. and i have a lot of friends with family from there.

  • natürlich ist clay geil….. aber chase ist witrklish toll…… clay ist manchmal ein muttersönchen und kein Badboy…..

  • Laguna Beach, Newport Hubor and The Hills is Quality!!
    I Love Watching Ova Ppls Lives..
    Theres Just Seems So Perfect!!..
    The Lads!! Omg!! Gawjus Or Wat!!
    Wudnt Mind A BIt Of Clay!!
    Steph Rae && Kayla King Love Em Too!! ;)..
    xx JoJo xx

  • chrissy and clay have to be 2gether 4ever and sasha and grant!!!they (chrissy,clay,sasha and grant)ARE THE BEST FOR ME!!I LOVED HIM

  • Oh my gad.. yes. its so right !! ive been thinking about it to :)
    grant is just like spencer !!

  • ahojte alebo every body HALLO…ja milujem newportharbor uplne namakany serial sledujem ho po nemecky ani neviem co hovoria ale to je jedno hlavne ze je to tak namakane….teraz po vasom …newportharbor is perfect brilliant film i love him!!! i love clay and chrissy cmuk teda kiss
    ahojte ja som miska svecova chodim do 8.B zs marhan pozdravujem cewlu skolu a to luba kocisa reneho michalova janca corba dawidka kamidru lasku moju aj domina pozdravujem kukyho rudiho pala peta a ivanu strof puciho luciu misu henu damu a asi konec hej i barusu a majku ch a uz koncim….CCAAUUTEE good bye