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How many days until the uncensored versions of Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo naked hit the web? We’re taking bets. [Drunken Stepfather]

The Noxema girl gets to touch McSteamy’s wee wee. [Gabby Babble]

Holy shit. So, you know Criss Angel, that magician who’s been famous lately for dating Cameron Diaz?? He’s married, and he’s having some trouble making that bitch disappear. [GTS]

Don’t fucking tell Elizabeth Hurley that a six-year-old can’t rock a leopard-print bikini without it being too sexual. [Celebrity Smack]

Movie critic Joel Siegel passed away. [popbytes]

Jodie Sweetin got some new titties, so either she’s prepping for a comeback or she’s the Olsen twins’ new drug mule. [The Blemish]

Nicole Richie’s all like, “Look, I may have been a heroin addict, but I looked fucking good doing it.” [POTP]

Jesse Metcalfe’s preparing for his brief and torrid affair with the music industry. [Holy Candy]

Lauryn Hill’s Oakland show turns half the damn audience into refugees. [Cele|bitchy]