Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Paris Hilton: “I Don’t Deserve This”

paris_court41.jpg In video captured by our friends over at Buzz Foto, Paris Hilton shows off her renowned acting skills the day after her sentencing, reading a statement prepared by her attorneys having an impromptu conversation with some photogs. "I told the truth yesterday," she says in this video. "I feel I was treated unfairly, and that the sentence is both cruel and unwarranted, and I don't deserve this." In related news, Hilton's longtime publicist, Elliot Mintz -- who took responsibility on the sta...

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Jenny McCarthy discusses her son's autism. [POTP]

Okay, Vanessa Minnillo, it's one thing to take up with Jessica Simpson's ex-husband. But her hairdresser? You bitch. [popbytes]

Russian supermodel Natalia Vodianova in her underwear. You know you wanna. [Grumpiest]

Pics of Lindsay Lohan showing up for Britney's LA mini-show in her very best Catherine Tramell. [Drunken Stepfather]

Break out the lube, boys, Maggie Gyllenhaal is breast-feeding! [Celebrity Baby Blog]

Don't worry, folks, Paris won't be released from jail early due to overcrowding; there's plenty of room at Lynwood these days. [Cele|bitchy]

Chloe Sevigny says she used to drop a lot of acid. Used to, Chloe? Apparently you now have serious flashbacks every time you go to pick an outfit. [Celebrity Smack]

Jesus, did Jessica Simpson always have knockers like this? [Warship]

Hayden Panetierre's castmates throw her a high-school graduation party. [Celebslam]

The American Idol songwriting contest is in full swing. Wake up and smell the genius! [GTS]

Gisele Bundchen may have been dumped by Victoria's Secret, but Louis Vuitton is happy to take the sloppy seconds. [Derek Hail]

Heidi Montag is going to pose in bikinis with those new tits of hers until I care. [Jordan]

Brooke Hogan is performing in her underwear, because it would truly be a crisis if anyone were forced to focus on her singing. [Hollyweird Gazette]

Fergie goes through eight outfits on one day. Now if only she could change her face. [cityrag]

/>Jenny McCarthy discusses her son's autism. [POTP] Okay, Vanessa Minnillo, it's one thing to take up with Jessica Simpson's ex-husband. But her hairdresser? You bitch. [popbytes] Russian supermodel Natalia Vodianova in her underwear. You know you wanna. [Grumpiest] Pics of Lindsay Lohan showing up for Britney's LA mini-show in her very best Catherine Tramell. [Drunken Stepfather] Break out the lube, boys, Maggie Gyllenhaal is breast-feeding! [Celebrity Baby Blog] Don't worry, folks, Paris w...

Spider-Man 3 Royalties Will Officially Support Kirsten Dunst’s Cocaine Habit for the Rest of Her Life

maryjane2.jpg Even though the reviews were dismal, all you Americans fell right in line with Europe and Asia, giving Spider-Man 3 the largest opening day in U.S. history. I hope you enjoyed it while it lasted, Pirates 2. The film is expected to take in $135-145MM this weekend. Tobey Maguire celebrated tonight by catching the De La Hoya/Mayweather fight with Leonardo DiCaprio at the MGM in Las Vegas. There were a ton of celebs there -- J.Lo and Marc Anthony (who sang the national anthem), Fifty Cent (who rapped as Mayweather entered the ring), perennial presidential hopeful John McCain, Ron Howard...

LINDSAY LOHAN IS NOT AN ADDICT

lindsay_coke.jpg Sometimes it's just fun to do a shitload of cocaine after you get out of rehab, you know? News of the World got their grubby little hands on footage of La Lohan snorting cocaine with two friends in the bathroom of Teddy's. The "friend" reported that Lindsay could rock 20 lines in a single night. Hey, if you respect nothing else about Lindsay Lohan, you gotta respect that. I mean, you know that's some solid shit she's doing, too. Twenty lines of Lohan coke could take down a small horse. The ...