Today's Evil Beet Gossip

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Yet another Anne Heche relationship culminates in a general agreement that she is totally insane. How does this woman keep finding people who will date her? Is it any surprise that her most recent ex-husband's last name rhymes with "buffoon?" [Cele|bitchy]

Meanwhile, Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo are turning former enemies into friends. [Celebslam]

Amy Winehouse remembers that the easiest cure for alcoholism is marriage. She tied the knot this week. [popbytes]

Lindsay's mom wishes she "was ten years younger" so she could date her daughter's most recent sex toy, Callum Best. Oh, Dina. If you were ten years younger, you'd still need to be ten years younger to have a shot at him. But that's okay. I'll pretend you're thirty if you'll pretend your daughter has a drug problem. [The Bosh]

Keira Knightley does Vogue. But not, apparently, the Pirates 3 premiere in L.A. [GTS]

Jessica Simpson is totally happy without John Mayer. [Warship]

Paul McCartney and Heather Mills manage not to kill each other in the presence of their daughter. [Gabby Babble]

Farrah Fawcett is suing the National Enquirer for running a story about her cancer before she'd had the chance to inform her family. [Celebrity Smack]

/>Yet another Anne Heche relationship culminates in a general agreement that she is totally insane. How does this woman keep finding people who will date her? Is it any surprise that her most recent ex-husband's last name rhymes with "buffoon?" [Cele|bitchy] Meanwhile, Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo are turning former enemies into friends. [Celebslam] Amy Winehouse remembers that the easiest cure for alcoholism is marriage. She tied the knot this week. [popbytes] Lindsay's mom wishes she "was ten years younger" so she could date he...

Looks Like They’re Going Through with that Pirates Sequel

Johnny Depp at Pirates Premiere Sigh. The first one was so good. The second one was so, so bad. Must they really continue to desecrate the memory of the first one by churning out these crappy sequels? I guess the box office says yes. And so it is with a heavy heart that I bring you the photos from the premiere of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End premiere at -- where else? -- Disneyland. The celeb-to-camera ratio was about 1:1. Johnny Depp was there, of course. As was Orlando Bloom. Keith Richards looked fairly s...

Things Didn’t Go So Well at Britney’s Orlando Show

Britney in Fuck Hat This poor girl can't catch a break. At Britney's House of Blues show in Orlando Saturday night, her pre-recorded vocals track skipped four times while she was lip-syncing to them. People in the audience started booing. According to a source at PerezHilton.com, "When the CD started skipping, she turned her back to the audience. Then when it stopped, she turned around with this look on her face like she was gonna puke!!! I really felt bad for her. Then the effin thing started skipping really badly again!!! And then again and again. It wa...

Okay, Okay, Pam Anderson’s Still Pretty Hot

pam3.jpg I give her a lot of shit for, you know, aging over these last few years, but after popping out two kids, battling Hep C, and enduring over 25 divorces, the Tool Time Girl still looks damn good. This bitch is 39 -- she'll be 40 in a little over a month -- and her body still looks better than mine did at 17. Not. Fair. She's in Cannes, at a yacht party for her new film, Blonde and Blonder. Denise Richards, who co-stars with her in the film and who just broke up with Heather Locklear's seconds,...

Ryan Phillippe Just Wants the Kids

ryan_resse.jpg Despite the fact that Reese Witherspoon is worth considerably more than he is, and the couple did not sign a pre-nup, Ryan Phillippe will not be seeking alimony from his soon-to-be ex-wife; he is asking only for joint custody of their two children, Ava, 7, and Deacon, 3. Phillippe asks that visitation rights be "equally distributed," and is not blocking Reese from seeking spousal support from him. The couple separated in late October, after Reese caught Ryan having an affair with Australian actress ...

Photoshop Award of the Day

0518_mens_fitness.jpg Did Andy Roddick get pumped up by Men's Fitness? Andy is in amazing shape...I have seen him play in person and he is hot and foxy but not that buff. Perhaps he has been lifting a lot of weights but usually tennis players don't bring the guns like Andy is here. His head also looks like it is pasted onto someone else's body. It is really weird to be perfectly honest. I gotta say really the body looks hot but this is not my beloved Andy, and if it is...wowza...he got even hotter!...

Jessica Simpson and John Mayer SPLIT

john_jess.jpg If you can believe it, another one of John Mayer's relationships didn't work out. The singer -- known for his cocky attitude and womanizing -- added Jessica Simpson to the laundry list of Hollywood women whose Wonderlands he was ready to leave. Rumor has it John dumped Jess this weekend. The couple, who were first linked at the beginning of this year, represented Simpson's first real relationship since her very public divorce from Nick Lachey. Lachey, meanwhile, is still running around the w...