BREAKING! BRITNEY SPEARS RUSHED TO THE … dentist? [Perez]
Prince Harry reminds us once again that he’s not going to be King of England. [Ninja Dude]
Naomi Campbell leaves the Department of Sanitation in a couture evening gown. Now that is how a supermodel cleans a toilet. [Gone Hollywood]
Is Kate Moss banging David Beckham? Nah, probably not, but that Pete Doherty fellow sure is a heroin addict. [Agent Bedhead]
Wait, remind me again why anyone would cast Winona Ryder in anything these days? Oh, right. [The Blemish]
The funny old man from David Letterman died (no, not David Letterman). [Tabloid Whore]
Piper Perabo!!! You’re alive!!! Hey, remember that one movie you did? Yeah, me neither. [TBYLTH]
Paris Hilton takes a cab, probably because she was too drunk to remember where she put her car keys. [IBBB]