Larry Birkhead Dumps His Attorney

Woo hoo! I read, like, three articles about the Anna Nicole Smith saga today. Somebody give me a cookie! It really hurts my head to follow this stuff these days, but this seemed like an intriguing turn of events, so I decided to read up on it.

Anna Nicole loverboy and sometime Ari Gold henchman Larry Birkhead has parted ways with his attorney, Debra Opri, resulting in an eruption of finger-pointing.

“I just had enough,” Opri told Extra. “I can’t represent a client who has a middle man by the name of Howard K. Stern. I feel very comfortable in my decision, and I wish Larry the best. But I am worried about him. I couldn’t continue with the way things were going…I don’t want anyone to think that I’m jumping ship. He’s close enough…I didn’t abandon Larry.”

Larry tells a different story to Access Hollywood (what, the Wall Street Journal wasn’t interested?). “I have chosen to go in a different direction. I have complete confidence in my attorney, Emerick Knowles, who’s handling the Bahamas portion of my case.”

For what it’s worth, TMZ seems fairly confident that Birkhead was the one initiating the split. They’re also being all “we’re such insiders” about it, stating that Birkhead and Opri “were butting heads over various issues for weeks. Because of confidences, TMZ cannot be more specific.”

So what’s up with Larry and Howard K. Stern being all buddy-buddy these days? I thought they hated each other. There’s something very, very strange going on here, and, I’d bet, quite a bit of ass-covering. I’ve heard some very strange rumors these past weeks, the most disturbing (and recurring) of which is that some evidence suggests the real father of Dannielynn is actually Anna’s son, Daniel. Ew and gross.

Having bravely delved into this story in order to bring it to you, I shall now return to the relative safety and simplicity of making easy jokes about how Ryan Seacrest may occasionally enjoy doing sex stuff with men until we get the results of this paternity case.