Prepare yourself, America.
Tomorrow morning, at 9 a.m., Lindsay Lohan’s father Michael will emerge from prison and once again become an active member of our society and, if possible, an even bigger thorn in our darling Lindsay’s side. It’s unfair, I suppose, to imply that he was not useful while in prison, as he was clearly hard at work creating tabloid prison art and, apparently, becoming an ordained minister, ready to “make amends for his past mistakes.” Sounds like someone wandered into a prison AA meeting.
But this is not the last you’ll hear of Michael Lohan, because he will now resume filming on the reality show, tentatively titled “Hollywood Dad,” that he had been filming before he was sentenced to all that stupid jail stuff where they don’t allow reality TV cameras. I am way, way excited about this. I hope there’s lots of crazy holier-than-thou religious discussion and ultimately lots of tequila shots, a bar fight, and a return to prison. Preferably all within a week or so.
They tried so, so hard to capture the total demise of a man in the spotlight with Breaking Bonaduce, but the sonofabitch survived. They tried again with Being Bobby Brown, but he’s still alive and kicking. I think they figure that, with Michael Lohan, they’ve finally got their man.
[Thanks to FishbowlLA for the heads-up]