Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Harry Potter’s Ass

Um, so, I think this kid's 17, so I may actually be trafficking in kiddie porn here. If that's the case, um -- authorities? -- if you could just kindly alert me I will gladly take this picture down. Until then, our favorite Equustrian, Daniel Radcliffe, continues to take his clothing off for promo shots. Rumor has it the actual play contains full frontal nudity, so it's really just a matter of time before some Harry Potter cock makes the Internet rounds (holy Christ, I just said "Harry Potter cock"). Seriously -- this kid was born in July of 1989. Am I really that bad at math or does that make him underage still? Is that legal in Britain? Underage penises? On stage? I am all for this kid building a career independent of Harry Potter, but is this kind of reminiscent of Elizabeth Berkley in Showgirls for anyone else? Like, we get it, Jessie Spano. You can play a different character. But you know what I'd really pay to see? Daniel Radcliffe doing the caffeine-pill episode of Saved by the Bell. "I'm so excited! I'm so, I'm so ... scared!!" Okay okay I'm rambling now. Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado: Harry Potter's ass.
Um, so, I think this kid's 17, so I may actually be trafficking in kiddie porn here. If that's the case, um -- authorities? -- if you could just kindly alert me I will gladly take this picture down. Until then, our favorite Equustrian, Daniel Radcliffe, continues to take his clothing off for promo shots. Rumor has it the actual play contains full frontal nudity, so it's really just a matter of time before some Harry Potter cock makes the Internet rounds (holy Christ, I just said "Harry Potter cock"...

This Summer Anna Nicole is King Tut

Dakota Fanning Hates Her

I just read that Abigail Breslin will be taking her stuffed animal Curious George to the Oscars. A few questions: 1) Does he get a swag bag? 2) Does he get a seat? (If so, shouldn't some Somali refuge get that instead? I mean really.) 3) If she wins the Oscar® will Dakota Fanning sign up for a transvestite role in a fit of rage? Okay, I guess she's just a cute little girl who was in that humour-filled hit movie Little Miss Sunshine. We at the Beet wish her and her Monkey friend all the suc...

Friday Morning Music

It's pretty clear that I don't know the rules around here. Is Friday music day? Can it be? I think it can but I'll never really know. If you likened the relationship I have with T and B to a dinner party I'd be in a room playing with my toy cars. The two gals would be hosting, drinking champagne (the good stuff too), and in general making revelry. Every once in a while on of them would check in on me and say something like "You doing allright bud?" I would smile, but it would be abundantly clear that I'd been eating paste. You get the idea. Now where was I... oh yes, the music! See what I was saying about glue like products? I wanted to throw a very British band out for your consumption this morning, a Japanese kid told me about them so you know they've got to be cool. Enjoy Maximo Park with "Apply Some Pressure"
/>It's pretty clear that I don't know the rules around here. Is Friday music day? Can it be? I think it can but I'll never really know. If you likened the relationship I have with T and B to a dinner party I'd be in a room playing with my toy cars. The two gals would be hosting, drinking champagne (the good stuff too), and in general making revelry. Every once in a while on of them would check in on me and say something like "You doing allright bud?" I would smile, but it would be abundantly clear...

OH NO THEY DIDN’T (Grey’s Spoiler)

If you have not yet seen Thursday night's episode of Grey's Anatomy, stop reading right now. I have written the text below in white. Highlight it with your mouse to view. If you do not want spoilers, DO NOT HIGHLIGHT!!! I've been hearing rumors all week that a prominent, much-loved character on Grey's Anatomy will die. But it can't be Meredith! It just can't! To echo all the other bloggers who have been posting in the past couple of hours: THE SHOW IS CALLED GREY'S ANATOMY! Has a television show at its peak ever done this before? Killed off the main character? The TITLE character??? I can't think of an instance. Maybe Shonda Rhimes wants to redefine groundbreaking. And cliffhanger!!! THEY CAN'T DO THIS TO US!!! And what was up with Izzie at the end telling George he made a horrible mistake in marrying Callie? That was both random and bitchy. And it was way foreshadowy when Christina was telling Burke about how Meredith is her "person" and then Burke is all like "Now, you're likening someone here to a corpse." When I heard that I was all like "Oh, shit, Mere's so dead." I have to hand it to them either way, this was an incredible episode, and it reminded me just what this cast of actors, writers and producers is capable of. I guess we'll just all have to tune in next week. DAMN IT! />If you have not yet seen Thursday night's episode of Grey's Anatomy, stop reading right now. I have written the text below in white. Highlight it with your mouse to view. If you do not want spoilers, DO NOT HIGHLIGHT!!! I've been hearing rumors all week that a prominent, much-loved character on Grey's Anatomy will die. But it can't be Meredith! It just can't! To echo all the other bloggers who have been posting in the past couple of hours: THE SHOW IS CALLED GREY'S ANATOMY! Has a television sho...

Late-Night Links

There's a sixth hat in the Dannielynn paternity ring. And he's in jail. Nice. [dlisted]

Brit-pop up-and-comer Lily Allen sports some conspiracy theories. [Buzznet]

You thought Austria was neutral? Not when it comes to Paris Hilton. They threw trash at her. [POTP]

Wow, remember that Uruguayan model who died of an anorexia-related heart attack in August? Her younger sister, also a model, just died the same way. Unbelievable. All together now, girls: starving is not cool. [Cele|bitchy]

L.A. comedy clubs seem to be the hot-spot for bitchy comedian screaming matches lately. This week: Carlos Mencia and Joe Rogan throw down. Check out the video. [Celebrity Smack]

Taylor Hicks is that abhorrent sort of diva who doesn't even allow other men to watch him pee. For shame! [Celebslam]

TRL is dead. Vanessa Minnillo is unemployed. Jessica Simpson is doing a happy dance. [Just Jared]

Katie Holmes in Harper's Bazaar. [Warship]

/>There's a sixth hat in the Dannielynn paternity ring. And he's in jail. Nice. [dlisted]Brit-pop up-and-comer Lily Allen sports some conspiracy theories. [Buzznet]You thought Austria was neutral? Not when it comes to Paris Hilton. They threw trash at her. [POTP]Wow, remember that Uruguayan model who died of an anorexia-related heart attack in August? Her younger sister, also a model, just died the same way. Unbelievable. All together now, girls: starving is not cool. [Cele|bitchy]L.A. comedy clubs seem to be the hot-spot fo...

Another One Bites the Dust

It's official: despite constant denials, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are practicing Scientology. They have been spotted at the Scientology Celebrity Center in Hollywood, and have been taking Scientology courses at least since December. They were introduced to the religion by Leah Remini's hubby, Angelo Pagan (that's his actual last name). This explains why the couple has been all BFF with TomKat recently. I'm sure it's just a matter of time before we hear that Posh & Becks are Scientologists too. All hail ...

THIS IS THE GREATEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED IN MY WHOLE LIFE!!!

Stern Strikes Back

I realize few people reading this know who David Stern is. For the record he's the commish of the NBA, and he's not to thrilled with the dude who "hates gays." Upon learning of the remarks Wednesday, NBA Commissioner David Stern immediately removed Hardaway from any subsequent league-related appearances and commented on the entire matter. "It is inappropriate for him to be representing us given the disparity between his views and ours," Stern said in a statement to the South Florida Sun-Sentin...

Everyone Else’s Romantic Valentine’s Day

Here I thought we were done with Valentine's Day, but, alas, I still have to write about all the romantic crap that happened to people who aren't me last night. So okay.Keri Russell decided the only thing better than getting knocked up would be to actually marry the kid's father before the kid's born. Well, either she decided that or her father did. So Felicity and longtime man Shane Deary tied the knot at a small ceremony in NYC last night. They're expecting the baby this summer.Meanwhile, word ...