LEO IS SINGLE!!!

I suppose I should be making a concerted effort to care about the SAG awards right now, but, thankfully, there is much more exciting news on the gossip horizon!

According to “press reports” (in fairness, I cannot find the source for the life of me, but who needs a source for great news like this?), Leonardo DiCaprio got his ass dumped by his girlfriend of six months, Israeli model Bar Rafaeli. The paper breaking the story is supposedly Britain’s News of the World (again, can’t find anything on their website, but whatevs), who quotes a source as saying that Bar couldn’t keep up with Leo’s crazy par-tay lifestyle: “Bar is a professional model so she has to be healthy and look great every day, so there is no way that she could keep up with that kind of decadent lifestyle. When they were apart she worried about what he was up to and in the end decided it would be easier and less painful just to say enough is enough.”

Sheesh. Clearly this girl needs to take lessons from Kate Moss, who manages to look great and get high every single day! (Although News of the World also reports that Moss is about to be dumped by client Rimmel, as her age is starting to show.)

There are a few lessons to take from this. The first is that anyone can get dumped, even if you’re Leonardo Freaking DiCaprio. The second is that, if and when you do get dumped, it’s unwise to take refuge in a bottle of self-tanner and then attend the SAG awards. Lastly, and most important, Leo is now single and vulnerable! Time to move in for the kill, ladies!