Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Kirsten Dunst Has Something to Say about That

As long as we're on the topic of people who've hooked up with Brad Pitt...Kirsten Dunst put the coke back in her inhaler for long enough to talk to Britain's News of the World about how lucky she is that she doesn't do coke.Seriously.Listen to some choice quotes: "Jake and I couldn't last. He's a stay-at-home boy and I'm an out-on-the-town girl. We tried to spice things up — we had sex in cars, in the bathroom and even by the sea. The only place we didn't have the guts to try was in a wa...

Brad Pitt Peeks Out from Angelina Jolie’s Shadow, Says Something Important

Don't get me wrong: I'm still mad at Brad Pitt. When he walked out on Jennifer Aniston, I felt like he took all my fairytale-marriage-to-Brad-Pitt dreams along with him. You'd think they would have evaporated when he married Jennifer Aniston, and, consequently, not me, but somehow they persisted still. Like I could have my fairytale marriage to Brad Pitt through Rachel Green. I soaked up every minute of our power-couple union. What kind of person operates in such a distorted, delusional reality? I...

Picking up the Pieces: The Only Pussies Renew Their Driver License Edition

Photobucket - Video and Image HostingHe's been hit with a few shells, but apparently at no point with a car insurance policy. Rapper 50 cent is pulled over in his Lambo in NYC for making an unsafe lane change. He's later handcuffed and taken to a police station on charges of an expired driver license, his vehicle being unregistered in NY, driving an uninsured vehicle and having that brick of heroin in the back seat. And by "having that brick of heroin in the back seat" I of course mean "being black." Gawker's got art. Jessica Simpson's management fires her publicist for trying to make i...

The Words Outta My Mouth

Photobucket - Video and Image HostingAh ha ha ha! So it turns out Bob Guiney, from The Bachelor, somehow managed to parlay his reality TV gig into an ill-advised recording contract. I know this because a sample of the aforementioned opus just came onto my Pandora box, on my Counting Crows channel, no less, which I'm sure would send Adam Duritz into a hissy fit if he were still alive. What's that? He is? Huh. Anyway, this post's raison d'etre: the title of the song is "So Wrong." Which is just so, so right. ...

"It’s Like, Yeah, Motherfucker, My Bag’s Fine"

Ugh. I am, like, soooo late on the draw with this one. So a recap.
Ugh. I am, like, soooo late on the draw with this one. So a recap.Lindsay Lohan's Birkin was stolen at Heathrow airport, which was, like, recently the target of some manner of foiled terrorist plot, so it's nice to see they've really driven security into high gear over there. Lindsay cried because if there's anything that sucks worse than losing a Hermes bag containing over $1M in jewelry and your asthma inhaler, it's losing a Hermes bag containing over $1M in jewelry and the rest of your cocaine....

Inside the Playboy Mansion

Photobucket - Video and Image HostingI was driving around the city this morning, flipping through the radio stations, when a convo on Star 98.7 caught my attention. The woman being interviewed was Izabella St. James, a former live-in girlfriend of Hugh Hefner. Apparently she's authored a tell-all, Bunny Tales: Behind Closed Doors at the Playboy Mansion. Her interview implied that perhaps -- shocker! -- life as one of Hef's girlfriend's isn't all fast cars, fancy clothes and mind-blowing sex. She implied that Hef is possessive and controll...

I Eat Celebs for Lunch

Photobucket - Video and Image HostingParis Hilton finally gets that elusive DUI. Sorry to those of you who had your money on Lohan. Her spokesperson, Perez Hilton -- er, um, Elliot Mintz -- says the arrest was "probably the result of an empty stomach and working all day and being fatigued." During her arrest, Hilton failed to make comments disparaging any particular race or religion, and was released within hours. TMZ has art. According to the AP, AmIdol's Clay Aiken is being considered to be named to the President's Committee for ...

Color Me Surprisedd: Tamyra Gray Wedds Sam Watters

On Saturday, the 4th-placer from AmIdol's inaugural season wedd Sam Watters, of Color Me Badd fame. Remember them? Think slap bracelets. Hypercolor. Roller skating rinks. "I Wanna Sex You Up." Got it? Okay.I really likedd Tamyra on AmIdol, and if I hadn't been headd over heels in love with Miss Kelly Clarkson, I wouldd have rootedd for her to take it all. Or Nikki McKibbin. Or Ryan Starr. Or Jim Verraros. No, not Jim Verraros. But close. I actually wouldd have rootedd for anyone other than Justin "Rib...

Odds & Ends: All the News That’s Not Suri Cruise!

Today's mostly Asian-Baby-Called-Suri-Cruise Day on the internets, but if you're now suitably bored and disturbed reading the TomKat PR script optioned by Vanity Fair, here are some other things going on in celeb news:You know what would be purely sensational and unfair and hurtful to the Mel Gibson clan? Dragging his oldest son's past DUI into this mess. My favorite part of this article is the discussion of how Christian Gibson got sober at Cirque Lodge in Utah -- the "same facility that helped Mary-...

Picking up the Pieces: Things that Happened to People Other Than Lindsay Lohan Today

Orlando Bloom decides he can't see Kate Bosworth anymore. No, really, he can't actually see her anymore. It's official: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes found a baby to adopt! Katie Couric kicked off her CBS career with the pics. From the looks of the kid, some 15-year-old prostitute in Cambodia is a real big fan of Scientology these days.It's not that Victoria Beckham is pregnant, it's just that her husband doesn't speak Spanish.When a lot of rich people have invested a lot of money in you, you don't ...

Radar is Back! Ashlee Simpson is Puking!

Radar wants you to know they mean business this time, reporting exclusively that Ashlee Simpson showed up at a MisShapes party (I bet Leigh Lezark looked unhappy) with Pete Wentz, whom she straddled. (The Evil Beet has learned exclusively that this Pete Wentz is the bassist for a band called Fall-Out Boy.)Apparently all the Manhattan hipster awesomeness was as nauseating to Ashlee as it is to most of us left-coasters, and she spent a portion of the night vomiting in the bathroom. Radar's trying to...