It’s time for another round of weekly winnings for the Evil Beet Caption This contests! Check it out, and if you’re the winner, I’ll be sending you an email to collect your mailing information in order to send your prize. Sure hope you registered with a valid email address!
We’ll be choosing the winner of the above photo next Tuesday, so tune in to find out who it is!
The winner on last week’s Jennifer Love Hewitt photo: Anonymous
“Ooh … something on my vajazzle just shifted.”
First runner-up: MJRyan
“Will someone, please, tell Margret Cho to stop following me!”
Second runner-up: Crab
JLH to herself: “Hmmmmm … let me see who can I pick to be my next boyfriend.”
Congrats to Anonymous! As for the rest of you, get commenting if you want to win some free crap! (And for the love of God, check your damn email if you want to win the prize! The first runner-up will be notified that they’re getting the prize if you don’t claim it, guys!)
Kim Kardashian attempts to go back to the ocean to join the rest of her kind.
“I thought that this would be more difficult, but for some reason this position comes very naturally to me.”
Looks like Kim is down for the big black stick anytime, anywhere!
If only Kim would go the way of Narcissus.
Ray J must have drank a Big Gulp before the shooting the footage for his new tape with Kim.
Even Kim’s wetsuit is ready to quit this bitch
Oh… Willy… Willy. I’m FREE Willy..hee hee eeee
Let me see the “GOODs” I hear your big Willy! Willy… ??
Hop right on up here Willy, either end… hee hee
Jaws is producing Kim K’s new exercise video bcuz he wants to eat her. Kim totally thought he meant something else.
Here Fishy, Fishy !!!!!!!!!!
Is there not a way to make it where you show the winning captions under the photo that they are actually captioning?
There’s a link. All you have to do is click on it.
The irony is that with an ass like that, you do not need a paddle board!
It looks like Chris Christie decided to take off the blue fleece jacket and survey the Jersey Shore devastation from a paddleboard. Yeah Buddy!
I was just coming to post the same thing as Lindsay: The winning captions would be much funnier if they were shown with the picture they belong to!
It’s the great half white whale.
Damn, paddling to Cuba for hot Latin studs is going to be harder than I thought.
You can lead a whore to water, but you can’t make her drink.
There was enough room for 2 people on the raft at the end of Titanic, provided that Kim’s ass wasn’t on one of them.
And so then God said: “Great, now I’ll never get the smell out of the fish.”
Maybe no one will hear me fart way out here
Mooooooooooooooooooooo
There is no end to what Kim will do for a pearl necklace.
where is the motor i don’t know how to use this paddle–my ass will not fitin the boat hohohoho lol
does my but look big in this?
Kim’s heart is darker than Jessica Biel’s charcoal vulva.
These are the best ever. I’m laughing so hard.
Gotta let people see how awesome I am!
No Kim, I said it looks like you padded your a$$ today, not paddled.
Heeeeeeeeeeeeere Nemo come on boy. Come to Kim. Oh come on I promised that bitch Beyonce I would get you for her kid.
When God awoke and saw this, he said “Where’s the damn Tsunami button?”
OMG! Is that a frickin spider?OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!HELP!!
E! is developing an updated version of Gilligan’s Island for 2013. Someone at the network decided to combine Gilligan, Ginger and the Skipper into one character to save money on the budget. They are currently casting a fat, gold digging moron without a sense of self respect. Kim’s momager earned her 15% this time.
Apparently due to the stagnant and ongoing divorce/annulment proceedings, a despondent Kim Kardashian was seen paddling in circles for hours. Onlookers stated she was saying:”What has it got in its pocketses precious? Thief,thief, thief Humphries….. We hates it, we hates it, we hates it forever…..”