It’s time for another round of weekly winnings for the Evil Beet Caption This contests! Check it out, and if you’re the winner, I’ll be sending you an email to collect your mailing information in order to send your prize. Sure hope you registered with a valid email address!
We’ll be choosing the winner of the above photo next Tuesday, so tune in to find out who it is!
The winner on last week’s Steven Tyler photo: flwd
“Looks like Janice Dickinson didn’t outsmart mother nature this time.”
First runner-up: vitobonespur
“Not only does Steven Tyler play by ear, but he does it without the help of a keyboard.”
Second runner-up: MRyan
“At the age of 65, J-Lo has a hard time finding the piano.”
Congrats to flwd! As for the rest of you, get commenting if you want to win some free crap! (And for the love of God, check your damn email if you want to win the prize! The first runner-up will be notified that they’re getting the prize if you don’t claim it, guys!)
“Nice rack, honey!”
Sorry, I can’t right now, Hillary is watching!!
I’m no Kennedy, but, I’ll kiss those babies!
Well, hello ladies!
I knew that was you Monica I guess that stain ain’t ever gonna cum out.
Good God don’t tell Monica or Hillary
like to smoke white owls, I promise not to cum on your shirt, learned that the hard way
That cap would look better on the floor in my bedroom.
My name is Bill Clinton
/thread. Bob you are a fucking genius.
I’m holding a purse or something
I was the president before.
I touch the arm in two places
I’m outside in the day
I don’t need my glasses right now
I’m a picture on a website
I am a 90.8 kilobyte jpeg image file.
Hi, how are you?
You must be a man I know.
Excuse me. What time is it?
Do you like my black tshirt? I have other colors too.
“Hello, I just wanted to come over and shake your hand and introduce myself. I’ve seen you around and I’m familiar with the work that you’ve done, and I thought this was a great opportunity to come one over and say ‘hello’. Okay I must be going now, it was a pleasure meeting you. Bye.”
“I LOVE MEETING NEW FRIENDS!”
“I want to put a Democrat in YOUR White House!”
“How ’bout I give YOU a little “Welfare Reform”?”
All spaces are sacred. Every body is a temple.
Just let me be the dust on the feet of the saints.
I can’t remember where I parked my car. Can you drive me around the parking lot and I’ll just keep hitting “unlock” on my remote key and we’ll see which car’s lights come on?
Psst… do you see Hillary standing behind me? No?!
Well Hello-o-o-o there !
I made Monica gag, but I bet you can take it all…and if not it’ll fit just fine between those puppies…
“I glanced at your breasts and am very sorry because now that moment is eternal and you are forever that “presidential breasts” woman. I am sorry.”
Where are my glasses? I can’t find them even though they are hanging from my shirt collar.
“Wanna play a little ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ with your boobies? Heyo! Yow-zahh! No seriously, I bombed Kosovo.”
“My hair is white. I am smiling. My teeth are yellow.”
“Old man in parking lot shakes hand of your woman!”
So….do you like cigars?
“Sometimes, when I get up in the morning, I can’t see much out of my left eye and I get confused for a moment as to why my bed has been moved closer to the bathroom. Thank you for helping me to my car.”
“Hello, Sister Souljah
Nice to know ya
I’m touchin yo’ shoulda’
Wishing I wasn’t olda’
Rockin’ this handshake
Like a Haitian earthquake
Feelin’ real good
‘Cause I just got some food
From the grocery store
(Swag!)
I’m in a parking lot
(Swag!)
I once dodged a draft
Just to have a laugh
Was wit’ the fly Brit honeys
While my peers were in tha’ muddies
That’s how I used to roll
(Remember Kosovo)
Now I can’t find my glasses
Cause they’re on my t-shirt
I ain’t grabbin’ no asses
Just avoidin’ gettin’ hurt
Travolta played me once
Cause I was lookin’ pretty good
Now it takes me months
Just to get a little wood
My Black Hawk’s always down
If you know what I mean
So a little glance downtown
Don’t even bother Hillary!
Peace”
“I want to have sexual relations with that woman.”
I’m going to fingerblast you in the name of Freedom!
Don’t worry. Hillary understands that if we don’t exercise our rights for casual group sex, then the terrorists have already won.
My wife? ….. who?
Yes, its true a blow job isn’t sex. Are you parked nearby?
“Hi Mr. Preside……OH! What was that ‘Boing’ sound?
oooooor,
The lady behind Clinton: (She comes to see, of all people, Bill Clinton wearing THAT? Can anything else exude more Tramp?)
Hillary wants to see if Bill falls for her ‘cheating test dummy’.
You must be cold. Why don’t you get yourself one of those wonderful “I beet off at work” shirts to keep you warm.
I’ll play my saxophone for you if you’ll play my rusty trombone.
Bill Clinton: “I promise to inhale this time.”
Bill Clinton: “My private number is (202) 555-…”
Bill Clinton: “tickle tickle!”
Woman in the hat: “Is that your hand or are you just happy to see me?”
Woman in the background: “Here we go again.” *sigh*
Hi Bill , my place or your’s ?
Excuse me, but I seem to have dropped my cigar down there.
Clinton – Nice meeting you and “the girls”!
well, you know, people do say I have changed i now look like a halloween pumpkin on top of a fence post, would you like to go with me and see my fence post, And do you like pumpkin pie?
Oh Monica I knew you would come back to me. You get the dress I’ll get the cigars.
Bill Clinton;I am super happy to meet you and the view from up here is fabulous. Woman; Come on over after this event and will see what we can to to improve the view.
For the first time ever, Monica and Hillary together with Bill
“Well hey there young lady, I’m just gonna look at your rack, cause it’s me! Bill!”