Emily gave you guys the rundown the other day that John Mayer had kicked Katy Perry’s sweet tits to the curb, and did you think it was going to end right there? Because oh hell no. No, word on the street is confirming that John was the one to end the relationship, and Katy’s all broken up about it, because she was really “starting to fall” for John. (Insert ‘gag’ here.)
From People:
“They weren’t serious, but she was really starting to fall for him,” a source close to Perry, 27, tells PEOPLE. “She wasn’t seeing forever with him, but saw it lasting longer than it did.”
I guess this says a lot for the state of John Mayer’s confidence. If he’s willing to pump and dump every A-list chick he can get his hands on (even if they’re just fleetingly A-list), he’s going to do it, and do it without worrying that maybe he won’t get his grubby little fingers on another. Because clearly, he’s not worrying that maybe he won’t get his grubby little fingers on another. BECAUSE HE WILL GET HIS GRUBBY LITTLE FINGERS ON ANOTHER.
Another source says that John’s already moved on, and he’s looking for his latest victim. Eyewitnesses placed him at the Soho House this past Thursday night (sans Katy Perry, of course), moving in on two women while drinking and making bedroom eyes. He probably took both of them home that night, too.
Just to recap? Here’s some of the women that John Mayer has hooked up with (some for sure, and some alleged; alleged are denoted by asterisk):
—Katy Perry
—Miley Cyrus*
—Ke$ha*
—Vanessa Carlton
—Jennifer Love Hewitt
—Jessica Simpson
—Minka Kelly
—Jennifer Aniston
—Cameron Diaz
—Taylor Swift
—Giada de Laurentiis*
I mean, gosh. Who’s next? Better question, really—who’s left?
Rihanna, Lindsay Lohan, and perhaps Demi Lovato if/when she leaves Bieber, and Selena Gómez.