Ugh, am I the only one that’s already sick of Katy Perry and all of her angsty, broody faux “darkness”? Because damn. That is one ugly dress, and the face isn’t much better. QUIT POUTING, KATY. You’re worth how much? Go and BUY yourself a man that’s not a recovering sex addict who’s moved onto someone who isn’t nearly as hot as you are.
But wait. What’s that? He’s already possibly dumped the crystal-slinging chick and is reportedly dating … who? Zooey Deschanel? No f-cking way. I refuse to believe this, E!:
After filing for divorce from Katy Perry in December—and hitting up the Hollywood social scene with his male entourage—word was that Brand was showing interest and sending “flirty texts” to none other than Perry’s doppelgänger, Zooey.
It makes sense. They obviously look a lot alike (more so than these two ladies), which means there’s gotta be some physical attraction on his end at least, and it’s not like we haven’t seen guys go after a new lady that resembles their ex before.
Plus, Deschanel is dealing with the separation from ex-hubby Ben Gibbard, so she and Brand are, like, totally on the same page!
As you brainstorm their hybrid names (Zoesell? Russey?), know that this rumor is… So false!
Whether Brand finds Zooey attractive, funny and witty (along with the rest of us) or not, it doesn’t seem as though he’s making a move on it, or even has the means to. At least, that’s what Deschanel says of the whole situation.
“That’s a complete fabrication!” she told The Guardian in an interview. “I don’t even know him! I maybe met him once, in passing, four years ago. And he definitely doesn’t have my phone number! That was a story made up by a single website. It’s crazy how that got picked up—I mean how does that even happen?”
Oh, thank God. I really had my heart in my throat over that one. Could you imagine, Zooey Deschanel with a skeeze like Russell Brand? He’s completely OK for other chicks, but not for our Zooey. No, Zooey is a delicate little flower with much higher standards (right?) than someone like Russell Brand.
But back to Katy just for a second – can we all agree that announcing that things are about to get “real f-cking dark” was a bad move on girlfriend’s part? Because she just isn’t living up to it, and if these are her best efforts, I’d hate to see what something half-assed would look like.