“I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can.”
–Gwyneth Paltrow being the most pretentious person.
I just can’t right now, you guys. I dislike Gwyneth so strongly, and it’s so early in the morning, and I just don’t have it in me right now to rip her to shreds like I really, really want to. If you could just pick this one up for me, I’d appreciate it so much.
Sorry – I was too distracted by the Stella McCartney ad on the side where a girl is dressed like a human doily to comment properly.
Yeah? I’d rather eat shit than see her face or hear her godawful ass try to sing. So there.
Well, everyone has their own “don’t go there” list. Mine would more likely include hard drugs than spray cheese, but to each their own.
I used to think she was pretty OK, but a comment like that…
Makes her sound pretty out of touch….
But more importantly, it speaks to her extreme problem with food somehow…. How obsessed she is with is, her relationship to it is extremely adversarial…. Never a good thing with food… It’s OK to eat junk food sometimes…
PS What the fuck is cheese in a can??????
Can somebody enlighten me?
I’m from Canada…. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen cheese in a can…
Is it like cat food, where you peel the top off…..
Would it be like a big ol’ can full of processed cheese food?
I’m not entirely sure what Gwyneth is talking about but there is Cheese Whiz, which comes in the kind of can that whip cream comes in.
Thank you, C! I’ve never seen cheese in a can in Europe either.
I mean, there are people out there in the world who may have to put up with canned foods because they are starving or in some extenuating circumstance where that’s all they’ve got for the time being…
Sometimes food is about survival… or what you can afford for the moment.
What if she were ever in that position herself?
I see a screenplay somewhere…. Sort of like “Swept Away” but it would be about the main character not being able to stomach canned cheese, although that was all that was available.
Can you see her on a desert island saying: “I would have you feed me to the sharks before I would ever eat canned cheese…”
I mean, cheese in a can could be murder on a girl’s bowels, sure, but sometimes, Gwyneth, in a pinch…. cheesefood could save your life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PS Emily, you guys all have such different delectable styles, but I love your southern (is that what it is?) subtleness.
Thanks! I’m pretty sure it comes from the Southern part of me. Also, thank you so much, those were the kinds of points I would have made had I been able to see past ol’ Gwyneth’s nonsense!
Yeah okay, because cheese in a can can totally become such a bad addiction that you are homeless and sucking dick for it. It’s totally so much worse than cheese in a can. I mean seriously, that’s kind of naive and insensitive to the crack addicts of the world.
i quite agree with her
Whatever. When I was 18 and smoked pot occasionally, pretzels topped with cheez whiz were like, the most amazing thing. And I did not get fat or die. Or end up addicted to processed cheese food. Gwyneth Paltrow is the saddest human.
Gwyneth, still desperately trying to be cool. She tries far to hard, a bit like her ‘hanging-on’ to A-list celebs (Madonna, now JZ and Beyonce) whos next Gwynnie?, I am surprised you weren’t with Wills and Kate at the weekend.
All we can hope is that one day she will accept that she really is irrelevant.
With some of the idiotic statements she has said in the past, I sometimes think she already got a jump start on that choice.
she looks like she already does.. (smoke crack I mean.. not eat cheese from a can..)