Justin Theroux Is Dating Jen Aniston: Surprised? Yeah, So Was His Girlfriend

Hey! Remember when Jennifer Aniston started hanging out with Justin Theroux? Why, sure! But do you remember the part where Justin Theroux was still living with his girlfriend of 14 years, costume designer Heidi Bivens? Maybe! And do you remember the time Bivens’ own mother insisted Aniston’s rumored relationship with Theroux was “a big misunderstanding”? Oh, mom!

Today, Page Six reports that Theroux’s girlfriend — of, again, 14 years — has moved out of the home she shared with Theroux. Yikes. Understandably, Heidi Bivens hasn’t commented, but she is reportedly “heartbroken.”

Bivens shouldn’t be “heartbroken”; she should be livid. She should be furious that she learned about JustAnisTin (no?) along with the rest of us.

And isn’t the dramatic irony killing you? I hope Heidi Bivens decides to give an interview to every magazine. She should tell the world she’s been treated Bradly, and that she is no longer the Jolie — I mean, jolly — lady she once was, and that it is the total Pitts.

What I’m coyly saying is HOW DARE YOU, AND ESPECIALLY YOU, ANISTON.

Anyway, it gets uglier. Lainey suspects that Theroux, no longer content with his indie career, is just in it to win it. Theroux, of course, had major roles in David Lynch’s Inland Empire and Mulholland Drive, and Theroux himself penned the script for Tropic Thunder. He comes from a family of writers — he is nephew of esteemed travel writer Paul Theroux.