Hey, guys. My apartment is having work done on it and I woke up with some maintenance man’s face in my second story window and I screamed bloody murder. The day just got worse from there. They shut the water off to do work on the apartment below mine and I had to clean out my favorite coffee mug with seltzer water and my dog wouldn’t stop barking because he was under the impression we were being attacked. To top it off, my neck is making a clicking sound when I try to nod or shake my head and I may be mildly hungover from cheap white wine. And I currently look worse than Christina Aguilera in her mugshot. Basically, I want to eat an expensive french sandwich in bed and then kill myself. That’s where I’m at right now, so please forgive the slight gap in posting and any general weirdness you may be getting from me today. I’m going through it.
You wanna know who’s not going through it, though? (SMOOOOOOTH TRANSITION, GIRL) Jacqueline Laurita from Real Housewives of New Jersey. Homegirl is a mother of three and recently shed 30 pounds using some weight loss program called Medifast. While the Life & Style piece that told me about her weight loss kind of feels like an ad for this Medifast shit, I still think it’s mad commendable of Jacqueline to get all that unhealthy weight she was carrying around off of her body. And with two young kids in her house, too. Medifast or not, that’s impressive.
Lookin’ forward to see if Jac’s new body gives her some new swagger and perhaps a set of much-needed metaphorical balls on the new season of Real Housewives of New Jersey.
I’ll bet she still smells like a New Jersey garbage dump.
Did she not lose weight in her hands? They look like catcher mitts!