Snooki Does Rolling Stone: “What I’d Like Is to Turn Out Like Jessica Simpson”

This girl.  Honestly.  To me, Snooki is hot like Charlie Sheen right now, except, you know, without death threats.  And in this month’s issue of Rolling Stone, Snooki pops out to let the world know that she’s never going to go away.  Sorry about that, or, depending on your outlook, hooray!

From Rolling Stone:

On watching Jersey Shore: “If I do something stupid, which is pretty much the whole time, I hate it,” she says. “I just hate it. Obviously, they’re only going to put the good stuff in, and the good stuff is us drunk, so all I’m seeing is me drunk and falling down. That’s how I am when I party, but some of the stuff I do is, like, ‘Really, Nicole?’ I look like a freakin’ alcoholic. I’m like, ‘You’re sweating, your makeup is running, you look gross.’ I just look like shit.”

On being filmed constantly: “It messes with your head,” Polizzi says. “That’s why we go crazy. That’s why we fight with each other. That’s why we drink. We’re living in a house for two months with that shit. We can’t have cellphones, TV, radio or the Internet. If the president died, we’d have no idea. There’s no normalcy. It’s just like prison, with cameras.”

On sex on the Jersey Shore: “The only person I’ve had sex with on Jersey Shore is my boyfriend,” she says. “The guys you see me bring home, we’re only cuddling and making out like any other person would do, but we’re on camera and the whole world’s seeing it, and it does look like I’m having sex.”

On her future: “When Jersey Shore ends I’m going to do more spinoffs,” she says. “If MTV doesn’t want them, another network will be, like, ‘What does Snooki do now?’ or ‘Snooki’s getting married!’ What I’d like is to turn out like Jessica Simpson, with her whole brand. She makes millions…I’m trying to build an empire, because after this I can’t get a normal job. I mean, how do I go and sit behind a desk?”

She has a point with that last one there, but it’s just weird to see anyone say that she wants to turn out like Jessica Simpson, isn’t it?