Lindsay’s Apparently Jumped Off the Wagon Again, Has Run Screaming to the Nearest Bar

By now you’ve probably heard bits and pieces of odd details surrounding a story about Lindsay and her alkie friends at the Betty Ford Clinic and I am here to tell you – whatever you heard?  Is probably correct.

Lindsay, who was ‘bailed’ with some girlfriends for good behavior, had been living in one of Ford’s unsupervised halfway houses and decided to skip out for a night on the town. At a bar. Because patients at a rehab center totally need variety, you guys. All those ‘I’m an alcoholic’ meetings must really get to your psyche, and what better way to shake the demons off your shoulder? DROWN ‘EM IN GREY GOOSE AND RED BULL. (It gives you wings.)

Unfortunately, Lindsay actually thought she had wings, because she and her ladies-in-waiting were caught trying to climb a wall to get back into the compound where they were staying. Naturally, they were caught by security and a Betty Ford staffer by the name of Dawn Holland (who, incidentally, has been fired for speaking to the press over a breach of patient confidentiality) came to the aid of security. According to an interview given by Holland to TMZ:

Dawn Holland, who works as a chemical dependency technician at the Betty Ford Clinic, tells us on Sunday, December 12, just after 1 AM, Lindsay and two roommates came home from a night on the town … violating the curfew policy.

Holland says Lindsay and company jumped a wall, trying to get inside the place she was staying without being noticed. Holland says security stopped the three women, and that’s when Lindsay became belligerent and started swearing up a storm.

Jump in to find out what the trainwreck did next …

Holland says she was called to do a breathalyzer on the 3 women, but Lindsay refused and then pushed her. Holland says she went back in the house and Lindsay called 911 on the house phone.

Holland says she picked up another house phone to speak with 911, and Lindsay confronted her again and ripped the phone out of her hand, causing a severe sprain which caused Holland to go out on workers’ comp.

Holland says she could smell alcohol on Lindsay’s breath.

Holland, who admits to being paid $10k by TMZ for her interview, also claimed that Lindsay hasn’t even been making progress at the facility and treats the entire thing like a big joke. And that’s not even the most surprising part.

When asked about Lindsay’s claims that she was not the aggressor and that the rehab aide was, Holland claims in the video that she would ‘not risk her job’ over any patient. Yet disclosing a patient’s medical history or treatment not only violates HIPAA, it lays the groundwork for job loss (which has already occurred, according to Radar Online), and even paves the way for a lawsuit and even jail time.

I’m so not on Lindsay’s side in this – at all – and I totally believe everything that this woman is saying (why the fuck would she get fired over a lie anyway), but this Dawn Holland character is stupid, guys. You don’t mess with HIPAA.

Update: Because I was feeling generous (and in dire need of Lindsay-related entertainment and couldn’t find my copy of Mean Girls) I compiled a list of my favorite Drunken Hot Mess Lindsay photos, so be a darling and let me know which are your favorites.