Katy Perry and Russell Brand Got Married After Their Security Almost Killed Some People

I know, it’s a lot to take in.  Let’s start with the part about the killing.

Remember that tiger safari that Russell and Katy were going to treat their wedding guests to during their stay in India?  Well, that happened, and a Jeep full of photographers (like AP and Reuters guys, not like National Enquirer guys) followed a few hundred feet behind.  When they were spotted and as Russell watched on, the security guards promptly approached them to assault them and steal their car keys, and then leave them alone and bleeding amidst the inhabitants of the national park:  tigers, leopards, hyenas, and boars, to name a few.  They didn’t get eaten by animals though – some park rangers got their keys back.

I think it was pretty lucky that no one got eaten on account of Russell Brand, because that would have put a damper on his wedding day (good segue, right?)!  There aren’t any pictures of the ceremony yet, but you can read every detail of the traditional Indian wedding here, if you’re into that sort of thing, but I’ll go ahead and give you a few of my favorite details:

The traditional Indian rituals observed by the couple included walking around a sacred fire seven times while reciting Sanskrit mantras and tying a special wedding scarf together to symbolise their united partnership.

Perry and Brand’s parents were expected to be heavily involved in the ceremony, with Brand requesting permission to marry Perry by stooping to touch her father and mother’s feet – a sign of deep respect in Indian culture.

Perry, 26, was rumoured to be wearing a dress designed to incorporate a traditional Indian sari and white western gown.

Guests were presented with a box containing four spice-filled pouches, which had been carefully stitched by a group of beautiful local village women working at a nearby craft initiative called Dastkar.

It sounds like a nice event, doesn’t it?  Let’s hope those nice parts last and not those “left for tiger bait” parts.