Today's Evil Beet Gossip

I Guess I Need to Start Watching Julianna Margulies’ New Show?

the_good_wife_hi The Good Wife brought in 13.4 million viewers this week, beating out Dancing with the Stars by a solid margin. Not too shabby, Nurse Hathaway. What's it even about? Do I need to start watching? And is she still married to that unbelievably hot lawyer guy in real life? I'd sure as hell be a good wife to that dude. Well, at least for a week or two, and mostly just to make Adam Duritz jealous, but whatever. ...

Lisa Kudrow Did an Impromptu Performance of “Smelly Cat” at a Charity Event

Ahhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha! This news completely made my night. As we all know, an entire generation of 20-somethings was defined by Phoebe Buffay and "Smelly Cat." It's pretty much the greatest song ever. It conveys anger, sympathy, compassion, love, and malodorousness with such grace and eloquence. I'm frankly surprised that we've never seen Britney Spears or Pearl Jam cover it. (Seriously, Pearl Jam, get on that.) So Lisa Kudrow was with Courteney Cox-Arquette at a fundraiser for Feeding America, the nation's largest domestic hunger-relief charity, at Club Nokia in Los Angeles Tuesday night. The two of them were doing a brief Q&A session to kill time before Sheryl Crow went on to perform:
"Play 'Smelly Cat!' " an audience member called out, after Kudrow and Cox Arquette were pressed into a question-and-answer session while Crow and her bandmates set up backstage. Kudrow looked to her friend for help, but Cox Arquette gleefully threw her pal under the Benefit bus, calling out to the stagehands: "Get her a guitar, people!" After being fitted with an acoustic guitar, the momentarily bewildered actress warily asked, "Is this a set up?" before summoning her inner Phoebe and serenading the audience with her ballad about an odiferous feline.
PLEASE tell me someone has this shit on video? And that it will be on YouTube soon? In the meantime, the O.G. "Smelly Cat" can be viewed above. Update: Thanks to Jelena for the clip below: /> Ahhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha! This news completely made my night. As we all know, an entire generation of 20-somethings was defined by Phoebe Buffay and "Smelly Cat." It's pretty much the greatest song ever. It conveys anger, sympathy, compassion, love, and malodorousness with such grace and eloquence. I'm frankly surprised that we've never seen Britney Spears or Pearl Jam cover it. (Seriously, Pearl Jam, get on that.) So Lisa Kudrow was with Courteney Cox-Arquette at a fundraiser for Feeding Ameri...

I Am Going to Kick Emmy Rossum’s Scrawny Little Ass

duritz_wenn2571610 I never cared much about Emmy Rossum. I'd see a photo of her on the red carpet as I was thumbing through a million event photos and yawn. She's completely boring and I don't even know why she's famous. But I didn't mind her, I just didn't care about her. Now? I hate that little bitch. She's on my shit list. Why, you ask? Oh, just a little item that's been floating around the Internet in the past day or two: Her husband filed for divorce on September 25, but Emmy Rossum has already...

Strawberry Shortcake’s Daughter: All Grown Up!

Jessica Alba, Honor Alba Warren I'm just kidding!  Jessica Alba has gone red.  What do you think of it? I think I've said this before, but as a rule I think women look best when their hair color is somewhere in the range of what they were born with.  Jessica has such a beautiful, dark complexion -- she's so striking -- and red (pink?) doesn't do her any favors, in my opinion. Alba was out and about in Bev Hills today with her Adorable -- yes, she is Adorable with a capital A -- daughter, Honor Marie.  Honor is cl...

Amy Winehouse Comes Out as a Jewmaican

Lately, it seems like Amy Winehouse is less troubled.  We don't see daily pictures of a bra-clad Amy stumbling around the streets of Camden with a bag of crisps in her sore-ridden hands.  So, it makes one curious:  What is Ames doing these days?  Uh, rapping. Winehouse has decided to try a new genre of music.  Lyrics such as, “Listen. I can write ten raps a night, it don’t matter but you know that it’s tight," and "I will never wear my hair out unless I am the best.  Oh snap, I never kne...

If You Didn’t Hate Screech After Seeing Him on Celebrity Fit Club …

Beet told us the other day that Dustin Diamond, better known as Saved by the Bell's Screech, has bundled together a collection of his delusions and found a publisher willing to call it a book. This morning Double D (and he is a complete boob) was on Fox 5 to plug his new book.  He shared a story of when an extra on the SBTB set irritated him and he responding by pissing in her purse.  Oh. The. Hilarity. If you saw Double D on VH1's Celebrity Fit Club, you know that he's a big fat liar (emphasis...

I Sure as Hell Hope This Isn’t True

57913776christinetaylor930200951646pm Janet Charlton is reporting -- and my only solace is that she was kinda sorta wrong about John Mayer and Kristin Cavallari -- that Ben Stiller and his wife of 12 years Christine Taylor have split up! It's been common knowledge that they put their $12.5M Hollywood manse on the market, but Charlton claims it's because their marriage is over.  According to her, Stiller is devastated and trying to get Christine back, but they are living apart at this time. Could this be true?  I saw Stiller on Ellen about a month ago and he talked so affectionately...

Quotables

13501807gwb930200951005pm "People in the White House…actually object[ed] to giving the author J.K. Rowling a presidential medal because the Harry Potter books encouraged witchcraft." Former George W. Bush speechwriter Matt Latimer in his new book titled, Speech-less:  Tales of a White House Survivor in which he explains that GWB refused to award a presidential medal to Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling because her books were clearly promoting evil. As an aside:  I was looking for a pic of our former Prez and my son...

Drew Barrymore’s Whip It Premiere

16982015drewbarrymore930200942253pm Last night was the premiere of Drew Barrymore's new movie and directorial debut, Whip It.  She arrived on the red carpet fondling co-star Ellen Page and cuddling up with her old E.T. director, Steven Spielberg.  Also there was Drew's other co-star, Juliette "I Can't Believe You And Your Yellow Teeth Were Once Engaged to Brad Pitt" Lewis and Barrymore's Flower Films partner Nancy Juvonen (you may remember her for her controversial biceps). On-again, off-again boyfriend Justin Long was nowhere ...

This Lifetime Commitment Brought to You by E!

58453975khloekardashian930200925820pm Something hasn't sounded right about this quickie wedding between Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom since the rumor of them marrying surfaced, oh, a week ago.  Like, why the rush?  She isn't pregnant -- she hasn't even dated this guy long enough to get a positive result on an E.P.T. yet -- so why not date for a few minutes?  It's like E! pushed so hard for this wedding so it could be the season premiere of Keeping Up With The Kardashians -- and offering to foot the bill certainly helped wit...

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel Split Up?

57245234justintimberlake930200913100pm I never saw this coming!  According to Us Weekly, Justin and Jessica are done! They've been looking so completely miserable together as of late, so this shouldn't be shocking.  The way a "pal" tells it to Us, Justin broke up with the very talented actress a month ago.  On the phone.  Though the friend says they are broken up, he also claims that Jessica is in serious denial despite her ex's decision to bring single back. There have been some stories cropping up lately that tell the tale of Justin fooling around with other chicks.  Also,...

Dear Wynonna Judd, There’s Something Called a CORI Check …

58253241wynonnajudd9302009113221am Country star Wynonna Judd better find someone new to tutor her kids, because the teacher hired to homeschool her kids was just arrested on child pornography charges.  When he was approached by law enforcement, he was leaving his apartment with two boys in tow. Scott Meyers, 27 was busted by police in Tennessee who found more than 3,000 porn images involving children.  The idiot also admitted in an online chat room that he'd had sex with four local boys.  Judd fired Meyers last week, immed...
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