In an interview with News of the World, Blake Civil-Fielder admits (from rehab) that he’s the reason Amy got hooked on crack and heroin, and that he plans to stay out of her life in the future because he feels it’s the best thing he can do for her. Blake gets out of rehab at the end of this year.
“The first time Amy took crack she asked me, ‘Can I try a bit of that’,” he said. “Crack is the nastiest drug. It makes you paranoid, unreasonable, edgy and totally suspicious of everyone. And you can get hooked on it straight away. But I was weak and an addict and I let Amy take some. I didn’t stop it from happening. For that I take full responsibility. It became something we did as well as heroin. And then our lives fell apart.â€
Blake talked about the first time he saw Amy have a seizure from a drug overdose. “I knew fucking then that I had ruined something beautiful. It was all my fault. It was the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my life,†he said. And as for his prison stay? “I just couldn’t believe that after our wonderful marriage — the happiest day of my life — we were going to be torn apart. I felt inadequate. I felt unworthy of Amy. I felt that she should be with some other pop star or film star. Not be with some little chav from Camden. I cut my arms after we fell out over doing too much drugs and losing sight of ourselves. Amy got really upset about seeing me bleeding. And because she’s loyal and fucked up over our love — like Romeo and Juliet — she cut her arms too. I had to get her stitched up.”
And as for their future together?
“There are still reasons that Amy and I don’t like to be sober and if I go back to her I am basically saying, ‘It’s all right to kill yourself Amy’. Even if I was strong enough to resist drugs — and I’m not — it’s a ticking timebomb. I accept that there is every horrible, horrible chance that I could be tempted to take drugs again if I went back to Amy … My fantasy is that one day fate might bring us back together when Amy is clean. In an ideal world me and Amy would live together in a nice house with our two kids and all of this would be a distant fucking memory. That would be my dream … What people don’t realise is that Amy is an amazing wife, an amazing home-maker and a beautiful figure in the home. You would be surprised the domestic bliss you can have with Amy just doing the cooking and caring for you. But because of drugs we can’t have a normal life together. That’s why I have to let her go.â€
OMG. This guy sounds like such a drama queen. How can you have a normal relationship with somebody who’s this intense all the time? On the flip side, though, it does seem like he cares for Amy a great deal, and is trying to help the both of them to get and stay sober, which is admirable.
You can hear some audio clips from the interview here or read more of it here.
I actually almost cried. I thought that was so sweet.
OMG dude…..how is that being a drama queen??? Drugs destroy your fucking life, and if you love someone else that much so that you want to stay away from them, that’s admirable.
I mean intense sure…drama queen?? Hardly. I believe his feelings are totally appropriate.
I actually enjoyed that… *tear*
Oh, man. That is so fucking heartbreaking.
Damn, that’s a really intense and passionate interview.
It’s like some Wuthering Heights type shit.
I don’t think he’s a drama queen at all. He sounds very much like a person in love and I personally would be happy to have lived with that guy and have him say that about me.
shut the fuck up moron, he’s not a dramaqueen, he’s telling the truth read it again and get some persective… as many of the others have said it was a heatbreaking interview.
um not only do I agree with the drama queen thing, he probably only did this interview for money and celebrity. that is even sadder.
oohhh i love amy, and I got her hooked on drugs and wrecked her life. i have had so many chances, but still use all the time.
like, he is still in rehab but already talking about using. and he was using in jail. from what I remember from previous stories, didn’t he choose to remain in jail longer because he didn’t want to go to rehab? sounds like he is so serious about getting better.
yeah, whatever. he loves her so much. as a paycheck. gross.
it’s too bad he wasn’t nearly as “concerned” for her before he got her hooked on harsher drugs.
I don’t think he’s being dramatic. If he really only needed her as a paycheck he would sure as hell not be letting her go, she’s his meal ticket. I think this is genuine. He cares about her.
how does people selling stories about amy being a druggie mess help her? Real help would have been him TELLING THIS TO HER, not some freaking tabloid. that is RESPECT. maybe he knows that amy is already over him, so wants to sell a couple of quick stories while people are still interested in him. there was talk about her refusing to pay for his rehabbing and hasn’t visited him.
I mean, if I was completely out of control, the last thing I would want were my friends and family selling stories about it. jesus christ. that doesn’t help at all. and this way, blake gets a softer public image. he seems more like a martyr and less like a demon.
I think the drama queen came from things like him cutting himself up when they got in a fight and romeo and juliet references, etc. not just him telling a story.
oh and also dramatic, saying that he would kill himself if anything happened to her. the rest of the interview is full of stuff like that.
I have tears in my eyes,that’s so sad,and he really loves and cares for her,hope she gets help soon.
yell at me for being insensitive all you want, but you can kinda see her nipple in that picture (i think, im not exactly going to take out a microscope) and im gonna agree with the drama queen thing as he talks about them cutting themselves up while fighting, what type of person says that? or does it for god sakes? drama queen emo kids.
dramaqueen? is that comment coming from someone whose never cared about someone else that way? just askin’..
for once, i got the impression that he’s being genuine and if he makes good on it, then i guess we’ll know he was. wait and see before you judge him so harshly..
I think he got over her while in prison when she hardly visited. Now he’s focusing totally on himself, as I guess he should at this point, and pretending he’s leaving her for her sake. I don’t buy it.
@copa: That’s probably the best picture of her I’ve seen, but I’ve seen all the other pictures of her too and so it’s real hard to muster any shock or excitement (if that’s your bag) about a scintilla of crackwhore nipple exposure.
[pssst… everyone, he IS a drama queen that’s: a. is trying to save face about getting tossed away by a crackwhore; and b. sobered up in prison and suddenly realized she looks like Mr. Ed with a beehive. As ThatLisa says above, he’s a drama queen for blabbing to the press and trying to romanticize it a la Romeo and Juliet (or more fittingly in this case, Sid & Nancy)]
Whatever’s the real story, his and Amy’s life are now ruined. And I have to agree with DOWN UNDA about how Amy looks in the picture. It seems that she was drug-free that time or a starter in taking drugs. I hope they both recover.
whatever, crackheads shouldn’t be in the spotlight. let them both go get help (QUIETLY) and give it another try. id like to see her get better, shes an incredible talent.
he sounds like a French-Canadian Pisces ex bf of mine. That is one of the most somber and honest of confessions I have ever heard an addict spill. Regret much? It’s very, very sad to hear how people get so caught up in the turbulent haziness from a drug dependent life. Especially when it tears down even the strongest of spirits and ruins all you know and love. Kind of feel sorry for them now. He admitted he’ll re-lapse, so considering the fact that he is sober now and has been, why would he risk losing the love of his life over something that is obviously out to kill them both? She was a beauty a few years ago. How the hell did she end up with that guy in the first place?! He looks like a stinkin ferret….Anyone ever see ‘Candy’ with Heath Ledger? Fitting, isn’t it, in this story??
i didn’t think he was being a drama queen… it kind of reminds me of my godbrother and his wife, who met in rehab for heroin, and now he’s in jail.
What a load of co-dependent crap.
I’d love to see how much he stays away for her sake if she cleans up, gets healthy and gets back on track with her career and starts earning millions. Something tells me he’ll decide they’ve been apart long enough “for her sake” at that point.
They sound like twin selfish jerks IMO. She doesn’t visit him in jail or rehab, he gets out and she’s in rehab so he breaks it off. These don’t seem like two who were ever in it for the long haul or who have any interest in sticking by each other when the chips are down.
she looks a bit like whitney from the hills in that photo.
As long has she moves on to a better bloke this is great news.
He calls himself ‘el Diablo’ on my space.
Funny.
Some of you really have no idea how drug addicts behave…
I lived with one (my sister) on and off for 5 years, she kept moving out and then moving back in, until she died 2 years ago and she was like Blake in that she would try to get other people to do stuff with her.
It’s one of the things a lot of druggies do, they want to feel like it’s ok to do the drugs because people around them are doing it, it doesn’t really come to mind that they might be getting another person into a habit.
Drug addicts, in general, are extremely selfish people and the only thing they are thinking off are when are they going to get their next fix or where are they going to get the money for it…
You’ve lost the ability to differentiate between gossip-speak and commenting on the heartbreaking devastation of drug addiction. You would be so lucky to have someone so self-reflective and honest about their feelings and weaknesses. What’s the matter? Worried there won’t be anymore public display of human failing for you to make fun of? Go make fun of Victoria Beckam and Tom Cuise and leave the mentally ill alone. You take your life for granted. You assume that you are in control of your mental stability. You’d find out fast that if depression (or worse) were to take hold that you are not as in control of your brain chemistry as you might think. No one says, “I’d like to be a drug addict when I grow up.” We are all weak at times; some of us are not so lucky as to maintain control when we veer off track. Have so me compassion, would you? Or, perhaps you are just to comfy making fun of others shattered lives to avoid looking at your own. I generally love reading your blog. Today I am totally disappointed. I’m sure you don’t care. And, screw you if my grammar is not correct. Prescriptive grammarians are just uptight assholes that need yet another thing to seem superior about. It’s people like you that, if they had their way, would make poetry (urban or otherwise) as unimaginative as you are.
madeleine:
you were really on a roll until you started talking about the degradation of urban poetry.
also, this is a gossip blog. by nature of the genre, posts will, at times, be invasive, insensitive, and mean, because gossip is not kind. beet did, however, express both sympathy for amy and blake and her respect for his good intentions. she really offered very little commentary on the article. giving readers something to read is not a social crime on a gossip blog. even if she had, god forbid, forced her witty opinion upon us, that’s sort of what we’re here for, is it not? i can’t really tell what you’re flipping out about.
beet:
thanks for this interview. it was interesting and added a new dimension to the amy ordeal. she needs someone to help her, and if being dumped is a wake-up call, then good for her.
Taylor;
Thanks for setting me straight. Apparently this isn’t the place to express a compassionate opinion following an insensitive slur. I just thought people might be able to differentiate but I gave too much credit.
I get it now, it’s gossip so you reserve the right to be mean-spirited not matter the subject. Guess I will search for a more sophisticated forum. I’m certain I won’t be missed.
Enjoy
@Down Unda haha nah it was half typing to myself as i noticed it because i thought she looked amazing there and was looking at everything closely and was half curious as to if anyone else had noticed or if i was wrong in what i saw. :)