Let's all take a much-needed break from scary politics to remember how beautiful and perfect Natalie Portman is. Here's the beautiful and perfect Natalie receiving some manner of award at the Venice Film Festival. You're so pretty and talented, Natalie. I wish I were you. ...
Just watch.
Then comment.
Real or fake????? />...
Before she was John McCain's out-of-the-blue VP pick, Sarah Palin (nee Heath) was a sportscaster in Alaska. This clip is a riot. You know you've really made it when you're reporting on the Iditarod. God, did anyone else have to read that book in, like, third grade about the little boy who had this amazing dog and they ran the Iditarod and then the dog died like ten feet from the finish line and the big scary Indian picked up the dog and carried it across the finish line? Okay I don't even remember the name of the book but my eyes are welling up with tears just thinking about it. And sorry to ruin the ending if you're a third-grader reading this. Actually, if you're a third-grader reading this, go get your mom and tell her I said she ought to pay closer attention to what you're doing on the Internet. You know what? Don't bother. She's probably too busy drafting an angry letter to her Congressman about how Miley Cyrus isn't doing an acceptable job of raising you.
What was I talking about?
Oh, right. Sarah Palin.
Now people are murmuring that her youngest child is not actually hers, but rather a kiddo her daughter popped out -- out of wedlock, of course. Talk amongst yourselves.
Thanks Chelsea! />
Before she was John McCain's out-of-the-blue VP pick, Sarah Palin (nee Heath) was a sportscaster in Alaska. This clip is a riot. You know you've really made it when you're reporting on the Iditarod. God, did anyone else have to read that book in, like, third grade about the little boy who had this amazing dog and they ran the Iditarod and then the dog died like ten feet from the finish line and the big scary Indian picked up the dog and carried it across the finish line? Okay I don't even remember...
"It's news to me. He didn't seem any more or less horny than anyone I worked with."
David Duchovny's writer pal Matt Dearborn, commenting about the actor's recent decision to check into sex addiction rehab.
Heh, you know this whole checking-into-sex-rehab thing is just Tea Leoni's punishment for finding out he'd cheated on her at some point. And it's actually quite brilliant. When he's groveling like "Please, baby, let me make it up to you. What can I do? Just tell me, baby? I'll do anything," Tea thinks about it and is like, "Jesus, what's a fair punishment for this. Well, I could just go ahead and cheat on you, and that would technically make us even, but that's just going to put a further strain on our relationship. I could chop off your nuts, but, in the long run, that's not doing me any favors, either. What would be a suitable punishment? Hm ... Oooh! I'VE GOT IT!"
And that is how David Duchovny ended up having his lawyer issue a formal statement indicating that he'd checked into rehab for sex addiction.
Speaking of which, does anyone else remember that Bree Sharp song, "David Duchovny (Why Won't You Love Me?)"
I've included the YouTube vid here in case you haven't. Because everyone should hear this song.
I remember, after that song came out, some interviewer asked him what he thought about it all. And he said he'd written a rebuttal track called "Tea Leoni Why Won't You Blow Me," so it was all good. Ha. />
"It's news to me. He didn't seem any more or less horny than anyone I worked with."
David Duchovny's writer pal Matt Dearborn, commenting about the actor's recent decision to check into sex addiction rehab.
Heh, you know this whole checking-into-sex-rehab thing is just Tea Leoni's punishment for finding out he'd cheated on her at some point. And it's actually quite brilliant. When he's groveling like "Please, baby, let me make it up to you. What can I do? Just tell me, baby? I'll do anything," Tea thinks abo...
Okay, I just feel the need to update you all on my diet and exercise progress.
I am now at five weeks smoke-free (woot woot!) and I'm still getting in about a half hour of cardio daily and doing weights two or three times a week. This is all very awesome, right? So why am I not losing any weight?
I seem to have figured it out.
Recently, I have taken myself off the all-green-foods diet -- because it had a teeny tiny shortfall in that it made me want to die all day long -- and have moved to Weight Watchers. Their Flex plan basically lets you eat whatever you want as long as you stay within a certain amount of points.
Weight Watchers recommends that, given my height, weight, age and weight-loss goals, I should stay within 21 points a day. So, yesterday, I began rigorously recording my food intake and points in their online system.
Do you wanna know how many points I consumed on Friday?
69.5.
And on Saturday?
70.
OMG.
I am eating over three times as much as I should be if I want to lose any weight at all.
Models are fucking crazy, yo. This shit's not normal. />Okay, I just feel the need to update you all on my diet and exercise progress.
I am now at five weeks smoke-free (woot woot!) and I'm still getting in about a half hour of cardio daily and doing weights two or three times a week. This is all very awesome, right? So why am I not losing any weight?
I seem to have figured it out.
Recently, I have taken myself off the all-green-foods diet -- because it had a teeny tiny shortfall in that it made me want to die all day long -- and have moved...
There are very few things that can get me genuinely interested in anything political. In fact, I had previously believed that there was nothing that could get me genuinely interested in anything political. This year, however, has proven me wrong. There are two things, at last count, that can get me genuinely interested in politics: hookers and teen pregnancies.
Since the Eliot Spitzer scandal has died down, I am now thoroughly obsessed with Sarah Palin's 16-year-old daughter, Bristol, and...
Geez, ya know, when I was a little kid and my dad wanted to spend some quality time with me, he'd, like, toss me into the car and let me eat chicken wings at Hooters while he watched the game with his buddies.
Brad Pitt?*
Takes his sons to the Venice Film Festival.
It's clear that I was not loved as a child.
* Question: Should we start calling him Brad Jolie-Pitt? I think yes.
[gallery]...
OMG you guys have to read this article in the New York Times interviewing a bunch of the old 90210 cast and crew about their experiences with the show. The whole interview's phenomenal, but I'm including some of my faves here:
DARREN STAR It was the first TV show I had done, so every casting session was a big deal for me. I specifically remember Jennie Garth. She just lit up the room when she came in and read. Shannen [Doherty] was terrific and also came with, of all of the actors, a little...
Famke Janssen schleps two huge packages while walking her dog on the streets of Manhattan.
When I lived (briefly) in NYC, the UPS Store was about three blocks from my apartment. And, even still, whenever I had to get a large package there, I would seriously contemplate calling a cab before remembering that I lived on a tight budget and dragging the damn thing down there myself. And don't even get me started on the laundromat, which was next door to the UPS Store. Don't tell my roommates, ...
Holy freakin' hell, let me get this straight: the first photos of Halle Berry's daughter, Nahla Ariela Aubry, are not in the pages of People magazine. Halle has chosen not to profit off the birth of her child? Weird, weird, weird.
Instead, the first pics of baby Nahla come from a recent visit to the zoo.
Look at that child's eyes! And her lips! Gorgeousness!
Now I know why Halle's kept her hidden for so long. She doesn't want to incur the wrath of Shiloh. Little Nahla's giving that little ...
Michael Phelps helps promote swimming at a YMCA in New York City.
It's cool to think about how many young people Michael Phelps will inspire to start swimming. Shit, after watching him in the Olympics, even I briefly considered going to the local Y and swimming some laps. But then, ya know, there's parking to deal with, and I'd have to get a membership, and what if it's cold, and would I be allowed to wear a bikini or would I have to buy a one-piece, and probably I'll push myself too hard try...
“I was just thinking, this Gustav is proof that there is a God in heaven. To just have it planned at the same time, that it would actually be on its way to New Orleans for Day One of the Republican convention, up in the Twin Cities, at the top of the Mississippi River.â€
Controversial filmmaker Michael Moore, to MSNBC, on news that Hurricane Gustav may result in next week's Republican National Convention being postponed.
Families in New Orleans are currently being evacuated. ...